Love You Goodbye

Chapter 12: Niall

They dragged me out of the room even though I begged them to let me stay. I was pacing back and forth, wondering what was going on with Roxanne and our son. After about thirty minutes, Doctor Brown stepped out of the room. "We have a problem," he informed me. "Your baby is killing your wife. We have to get rid of the baby."

"What? What are you saying?" I mumbled, unable to process what was being said. "There's no way you can save my little boy?" I questioned him.

The doctor shook his head, "It's not possible. The baby isn't fully developed to be live on its own even with an incubator."

I rubbed my hands against my face. "Save Roxanne, then."

The doctor nodded and went back into the room. I looked around the hallway, unable to move, unable to breathe. I fell back against the wall and ran my fingers through my hair. I was going to lose my baby boy. I sucked in a breath and collapsed to the ground. I tried holding back my sob, but I couldn't stop the crying.

After what seemed like forever, the doctor came out from the emergency room. He knelt down next to me. "Roxanne is in stable condition. She's still asleep and we're going to transfer her to another room. I'm very sorry about your baby."

"Can we..." I cleared my throat. "Can we try again? Can we have another baby?"

The doctor sighed, "There's something complicated going on with Roxanne's body when it comes to the reproduction system. I need to speak with her OB/GYN to discuss further about Roxanne's health."

"Doc, stop beating around the bush and just tell me what's going on with my wife."

"That's what I need to speak with her OB/GYN." the doctor said. "Once I get in touch with her, I will tell you that answer. Alright?"

I nodded, "How do I tell her that we lost our baby?"

The doctor sighed, "It's not going to be easy. If you like, one of us could tell her what happened. I'll inform you if anything else should come up about Roxanne."

I stood up and bought a coffee that I wasn't even planning on drinking. I didn't know what I was doing or what I was going to do. Roxanne and I had plans to cherish and raise our son, but now that he was taken from us, I don't know what we were going to do. The nurse found me and told me what room Roxanne was going to be in and I immediately went to the room and stayed by her side.

It was strange to see that her stomach without our son inside. Slowly, I grasped her hand and kissed it. "We'll figure it out, Rox," I whispered to her. "We'll figure this all out."

I took a swing of my beer as I absently watched TV. I knew one of the main reasons why Roxanne was mad at me. I wish she forgave me, but I knew that it would more than likely never happen. I wondered what our lives would've been like if we did have our son. I wondered if we would still be together in Ireland, raising our son or if we would still be broken up like how we were.

Dr. Kelly and Dr. Brown brought me outside to Roxanne's room. "Roxanne's reproductive system is unable to bear children full term," Dr. Brown informed me. "We believe that it's due to her past trauma conditions in the past that could've caused this."

"It would also explain her irregular periods as well," Dr. Kelly added.

"What about taking vitamins and whatnot, would she be able to carry a child full term then?"

"We believe that if Roxanne and you were to try again, it would go back to this situation all over again. It's a very low chance for her to carry a baby full term," Dr. Kelly answered.