Enthral Azure

Chapter 17

I couldn’t breathe. I’ve just met Isabelle… and she completely caught me off guard. She was beautiful, and we looked strangely alike in features. I kept biting my lip till I tasted metallic blood in my mouth. I just can’t believe…

Lisa turned on the ignition, interrupting my thoughts. We drove in silence until Lisa broke the silence. “Shit, Lucy. Shit.”

I turned toward her and slumped lazily in my seat, “She kept murmuring ‘Aaron’, what was up with that?” I wondered, genuinely confused out of my mind. She looked so sad, and lost… What was up with that?

“Maybe she’s crazy.” Lisa suggested.

I shook my head and the next words I was going to say stung my chest, “I’m going to talk to Aaron. I need to know the truth.”

Lisa glanced at me with a troubled expression but she nodded glumly, “You’re right.” She said.

My mind was racing. I was afraid. Of what, though? Afraid of talking to him and looking at his beautiful, beautiful face? Or was I afraid of finding out the truth? Do I want to even know?

I looked out of the car window, wondering how suddenly my life became so convoluted.  Just the thought of talking to Aaron made my eyes sting, my heart ache and my hands to shake violently. I hate him, but this other part of me is fighting back the hate. I still don’t know what my feelings for Aaron mean. I take out my cell and my finger hovers on Aarons name in the contacts list. Should I text him to meet me so we can talk? What do I do? Screw this, im going to text him.

‘Need to talk to you urgently. Meet me at my house at 7.’ I text him, regretting it already. My parents (thankfully) wouldn’t be home, because I may or may not raise my voice at him.

“Just texted him,” I say to Lisa.

She sighs, “Tell me everything on what happens, okay?” when we reach my house, she hugs me tight.

**************

Regret. It eats you up painfully, emitting thoughts in your head, distracting you from doing anything. When he replied to me, saying he’ll be there, my heart raced dramatically. I kept pacing around in the living room, biting down on my lip till I tasted blood. I could hear the sound of the clock ticking toward 7, tick, tick, tick. Then I hear the bell, ding.

I can’t breathe.

I take slow, tentative steps toward the door and close my eyes briefly. Take a deep breath, Lucy. It’s not the end of the world.

I open the door.

Aaron was a standing ovation. He looked good, despite the bags under his eyes. He’s wearing a loose white t shirt, and jeans. I resisted the urge to run my fingers through his dark tousled hair.

‘Hey,’ I say, awkwardly.

He shifts from foot to foot, his hands in his pockets. ‘Hey,’ he says, and the painful tone of his voice makes my stomach ping with sadness.

‘Come in,’ I gesture my hands inside, and he walks in. I close the door behind him and turn around to face him.

‘We need to talk. Let’s sit on the sofa, okay?’ I tell him.

He nods, and we both sit on the sofa, but I stay as far as possible because his close proximity would only make things worse.

‘I saw her today,’ I say, ‘Isabelle.’ I say softly, he closes his eyes and gulps. And when he opens his eyes, they’re glassy with tears.

“You saw her,’ he croaked. His face is full of pain.

‘What happened between you two?’ I ask. ‘She seemed so upset.’ I don’t know whether or not to be angry, because I don’t feel angry anymore. Something happened between them, something far more worse.

He shook his head, “I cant..” his voice caught, and a tear trickled down his face. I reach my hand to touch him, but he grasps my hands gently and pulls it back. I hurt inside.

“You have to tell me, Aaron.” I say, “Please.”

He finally looks at me, and I can tell he’s hesitating. “Okay,” he takes a deep breath. “Isabelle… and I were dating two years ago. I was in love with her…” he trails off.

I take his hands, encouraging him to go on. I nod.

“I was happy… but then she became distant, she was moody… sad, all the time. One day, she got too drunk she ended up in the hospital. She refused to talk to me, and eventually her brother threatened me, said this was all my fault. I was confused, infuriated with her. She broke up with me, said she didn’t love me anymore and told me to leave her alone. I was heartbroken, I loved her so much, I just wanted to help her. She was having trouble at home, too. After our break up, she went into drugs and got drunk a lot. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I went to her, talked to her in soothing voices and she broke down crying. Lucy, she… she was…” tears are streaming down his face. “She was raped.”

My heart climbed into my throat. He starts to sob and I hug him while he sobs onto my shoulder. Isabelle, was raped? My stomach ping with guilt. I treated her so poorly earlier, not to even realise shes been through a lot. But, rape? My eyes well with tears. I couldn’t believe it.

“I tried to help her as best I could, I really did.” His voice is muffled against my shoulder, and he’s crying even harder now.

“I know you did, Aaron. I know.” I whisper, smoothing down his hair.

He pulls back, “And Lucy, I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry.”

I cup my hands on his cheek and kiss him lightly on the forehead, “I’m sorry too. If only I knew, Aaron.”

“It’s just… you reminded me so much of her.” He said, his eyes puffy red from crying.

“Do you still love her?” it was stupid for me to ask, but I had to know it.

He closed his eyes, “I care for her… but she never felt the same towards me, she didn’t love me like I loved her.” He says, “But, I care for you, Lucy. I just need some time.”

I nod understandably. He stands up, and I feel bad.

“I should go…” he begins to say. “I’m really sorry, Lucy.  I hope we can talk soon.”

I give him a tight smile, he nods and leaves awkwardly. I stay immobilized sitting on the couch. My mind processing everything. Isabelle… she was raped. When did my life become an uncompleted jigsaw puzzle?