Remember me || Larry Stylinson AU

Seventeen

A/N: Please don't forget to comment and vote! ❤ 

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Waking up surely seems a lot nicer when I open my eyes and all I see is a chest, making my head move as he inhales, and feeling a strong arm around me. When I come to the realisation that I've fallen asleep on Louis and he actually let me, a feeling of happiness spreads through my body and I can't help but smile widely. I snuggle into him a little more, trying very hard not to wake him up because I know this will end as soon as he opens his eyes and I don't want to think about that right now.

I play with the hem of his shirt a little just thinking of how this could happen on a daily basis if we were actually together. We could cuddle in bed, wake up together, I could hold his hand, kiss him but that won't happen. It seems like the more I tell myself to move on and just accept the fact that it'll never become a reality the more I want it, need it. I've known I love the boy for many years now and it truly breaks my heart to know he doesn't feel the same way. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if we were able to stay in touch throughout the years. Would we have gone to the summer camp again the next year? Would we be able to see each other more often? Would we be boyfriends? What if we had already broken up by now? I can't decide what's better; not seeing or speaking to Louis for ten years and having him back as my friend or if we stayed in touch with the chance of dating and maybe broken up by now.

I'm just glad to have Louis in my life again and I know it'll be very hard but I want him to be happy and if him being happy means that I have to deal with you-know-who then I will try my hardest. I'll have to distract myself and try to date other people, just to get my mind off Louis. Nick and I would go out to clubs and every time I would hook up with someone I had to make them sign some sort of contract, stating they can't talk about what happened between us to the paps or tabloids. Which is actually pretty funny because if I sleep around my one night stands have to be silenced by a contract or money while my management creates these stupid rumours about me dating half the female population.

Not that I sleep around much, it's just awkward to wake up next to a stranger, trying hard to recall last night's events. I've done the quick hand job or blowjob in the toilets of a club before but hasn't nearly every male my age? I'm just glad the majority of our fans don't believe the dating rumours. It's kind of scary but they know how to read my body language better than my own mum sometimes. Like the time I was supposedly dating Taylor Swift, we were just friends but because she's been quite popular the last few years it would be great for ticket and album sales if people thought we were an item.

We've spent maybe two or three days together. We've been out and about in New York a couple of times and it was alright but the worst part was when I wasn't allowed to spend the holidays with my family in England. Modest! forced me to stay in New York and if that wasn't bad enough we needed to go out to watch the ball drop, surrounded by thousands and thousands of people just so 'fans' could get a sneaky photo of a fake kiss at midnight.

Don't get me wrong because I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity I was given when I auditioned for the X-Factor but there's a downside to this business and for me; not being able to be my true self is the biggest one. According to Simon and basically everyone at our management I should get on my knees and thank my management for allowing me to wear the clothes I actually like. All I want is to be happy and be myself but everyone besides the lads and our families seems to think that if I'm allowed to come out we'll lose fans and more important (to them) money. My mood has made a complete 180 but I refuse to let this ruin the last few days of our trip.

I feel Louis stir and assume he'll wake up soon so I drape my arm across his chest and pull him closer, enjoying it while it lasts. I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep but I know Louis has woken up because his body freezes. I'm afraid he'll push me off but after his body relaxes he completely surprises me when I feel his hand tracing along the lines of the tattoos on my left arm. It's such a sweet and loving thing to do, the way his soft fingertips move over my skin gives me goosebumps. I wouldn't mind if this moment lasted forever but I can already hear his stomach grumble so I decide on pretending to wake up.