Remember me || Larry Stylinson AU

Thirty Five

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A few days go by and Louis has started to call and text less than before. I know he's visiting his family back home so I don't want to push him to spend time talking to me, knowing how much he has missed being with them. I just hope we will go back to our daily talks once he travels back to London.

I read through my emails and find one that offers more information on our upcoming schedule. I'm not sure what our management is up to because usually, I would be able to tell people what I would be doing a year from now but for some reason, the upcoming months aren't filled out yet. We will perform at the Jingle Bell Ball during the first week of December so I'll be required to travel back to London, still unsure whether I can stay there or have to travel back to Los Angeles.

I do know I'm allowed to spend Christmas with my family and even though it's over a month away I already look forward to it. The lads and I will celebrate it at one of our houses before we all go out own way and head home for the holidays as per usual. I have slowly started to buy presents for Mum, Robin and Gemma but haven't got a clue what to get Gemma's boyfriend or if he's even spending time with us during the holidays. I met him briefly once or twice before so I'll have to ask Gem what he likes or what's on his wish list. Louis and I obviously haven't talked about presents or celebrating Christmas yet but I hope we will be able to spend some time together in London, celebrate Christmas early with our friends and exchange gifts.

I planned to do quite a lot of writing whilst being in Los Angeles but it's proven more difficult for some reason. I find it hard to concentrate or come up with lyrics, the ones I do write down seem lovely until I look over them again the next day and just want to crumble up the paper and throw it across the room. If I hadn't been cleaning, the entire wooden floor would be hardly visible through the crumbled up pieces of paper, every single one of them filled with blue ink.

The days go by slowly and I'm starting to get bored and lonely. So bored that I went through my entire inbox and replied to every single email that required an answer. I text Nick, Niall and Zayn but the time difference doesn't make it easy to talk to them because the replies rarely come instantly. I call mum and Gemma on a regular basis but I don't want to force myself onto them, knowing they too have full-time jobs and can't just put everything aside because I'm bored and need someone to talk to.

I send Louis a couple of messages and receive a few replies every now and then. Is it sad that I actually look forward to hearing from him again? I sure hope not, I just really miss him, miss my friends and my family. Of course, I have plenty of friends in Los Angeles or New York but I don't feel like going out/being seen every single day. I enjoy being a homebody and now that we have some time to ourselves I prefer to stay inside.

In the mornings I meet with my personal trainer, who gets paid to come to me instead of the other way around. He helps me build more muscle and to stay fit. When I ask nicely he'll consider doing yoga every now and then too. It's nice to have someone to talk to, the sad part is that he gets paid to listen to me while I lift weights. I'd like to think he's more than just an acquaintance but I wouldn't exactly call him my friend either.

Because I don't want to spend all my days alone I call and text a couple of friends to see if they have time to meet me or come over to my place. The worst part about living in Los Angeles is that ninety percent of the people I consider my friends are well known or just bloody famous which usually means they're always busy. Working on music, touring, filming a new series or film, out of the country for a modelling job, you name it.

Luckily a few guys reply rather quickly, telling me they'll come over as long as we can watch football on the telly. I agree because I just want people around me, someone to talk to or to have fun with. We end up watching every single game we come across and I love watching or playing football but unfortunately, we're watching American football which is a completely different sport. Other than working out, doing yoga or playing football, or as Americans like to call it; soccer, I'm not really into watching or playing sports for that matter.