Schizoaffective | Luna (AustinFFA)

{ 4. And One Day What's Lost Can Be Found }

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found

After school I get a message from my mom, apologizing to me for not being able to pick me up from school because something came up at work.

I let out a silent sigh as I make my way through the double door which lead out of the school. It only takes me fourteen steps before the rain comes crashing down.

Even with the rain, I continue walking. Thunder booms and I look up at the sky to see the lights flashing across it. 

"Need a ride?" I hear Austin ask from behind me. 

I look at him and nod softly. I realized that ignoring him isn't really an option. From what I learned so far, he doesn't take no for an answer, which in my situation, gets sort of annoying. I climb into the passenger seat, water dripping from my clothes. 

"You know, you're so difficult to talk to sometimes," he says as he pulls away from the curb.

I know, Austin but sometimes I can't bring myself to talk. It hurts my throat and my stomach feels empty every time I choke something out. 

He turns on the windshield wipers and continues to drive down the street. The only reason Austin knows where I live is because he's my neighbor, and has been for what seems like my entire life. 

I don't remember ever being friends with him, though. I've either been in the "boys have cooties" phase or thought I was too cool for him.

I never have imagined that one day he would be too cool for me...

He seemed so happy and I was jealous of it. How can some people feel ecstatic while others wish they were dead? 

"You know, you can't be stuck in this shit hole forever," he said, pulling into my driveway.

I looked at him slightly confused.

"You need to keep fighting, you can't let yourself drown. Your illness doesn't define you. You need to look for the old Robyn....because one day what's lost can be found..." he continued.

I didn't know what to do, I was frozen. I've heard things like this a million times before, but for some reason, it coming out of his mouth reassured me. It made me feel like my mental illness didn't put a tag on me, and I was normal. 

"...You need to remember that you're worth living and that there are people who care about you. I know you think of yourself as a tornado, who destroys everything she touches, including herself...but remember, there are tornados in space, and they cause one of the most beautiful phenomena in the world..."