Schizoaffective | Luna (AustinFFA)

{ 23. You're A Thousand Miles Away }

'Cause nothing feels like home,
You're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

And then he leaves...

And here I am, 3 days later, back at my own habits. I won't go to school...or eat...or sleep. I just lay on the hard ground at 4 am, finding it harder and harder to breathe.

I tried watching his videos, to find some comfort, but all they did was make me sadder...because I knew that he was a thousand miles away instead of across from my window. 

I can't even look at that window because I can no longer see his tired silhouette slouched over his computer as he edits another video.

And he hasn't called. Or texted. I know that he's busy and thinks I'm okay but it makes me feel like he doesn't care. I made Willow swear that she won't tell him about the state I'm in. That I can barely live when he's not next to me. 

I stopped playing again because I can't lift a finger...or at least that's what my parents think. When they're at work I sneak into the music room and sit at the piano, or grab my guitar, and I play until I hear their car pull up. Music is the only thing that's keeping me alive right now, but I can't tell anyone because when life finds out that something makes me happy, it takes it right back.