Behind Dull Eyes (1/2)

~VII~

Do you really think they want you here? You're stupider then i originally thought

My eyes traveling to a tall dark figure leaning against the wall, no face, no features just a pitch black silhouette. Feeling my jaw clench shut 

That fact that you think you can stay here makes me sick, look what happened with your father. Hell even your mother. The sweet heart she is wasn't it Her who sent you to live with that bastard because she didn't want to be around you?

"Shut up, you don't know why she did it."

Really? you forget I Am you. Correction, I'm the real you. I've told you over and over that if you just let me in you won't be in pain anymore.

"I can deal with the pain by myself."

Right because we all know how that went the last time, and what of those pills Clare gave you, you know damn well that if you take them you'll take to many. however maybe that's what's best, would make it way easier for everyone else. You know that right. I mean, remember the first time it happened? you were so scared, but i comforted you didn't I?

"You convinced me to take bills with alcohol to stupid bastard."

You idiot. You convinced yourself, I don't know how much more clear i need to make that you to. 

"Just, leave me alone."

You'd like that wouldn't you, for me to just disappear? If I go, You're going with me. 

Feeling a heavy weight on my chest, glaring up at the heavy pitch black silhouette sitting on me and hovering over me. The pitch black face, the faceless figure opening a pair of bright green orbs, a sharp tooth filled smile spreading across the blackness. My eyes widening. 

"Get of me." my voice wavering the figures voice dropping in octave for a low growl 

You can't get rid of me, I am you! If you won't give in I will make you. I will break you I will break everything you come in contact with! That tightness building in your throat is and always will be me. Once you lose it. Once you snap. What do you think will be left? ME!

The voice booming in my ears. 

"I said get off! get away from me!" Feeling pressure on both my shoulders, shooting up to a sitting postion on my bed, gasping for breathe grasping at my chest.

"Levi! looking at me, h-hey Look at me!" The panicking voice dragging my eyes to a familiar figure, Hanji. Suddenly feeling very tired and dizzy, feeling the pressure on my shoulders relax and rest my back down to a laying position, glancing over to them with worried eyes.

"S-sorry..It was just a bad dream.."

"Fuck levi, you scared the hell out of me. I thought those stopped a few years ago" shaking my head in response and they sighed, being removing their hands on me completely. My eyes feeling heavy as they sat on the edge of the futon next to me, slowly and timidly running their fingers through my hair before standing. 

"If you need me hollar, alright?" with that watching them leave the room not before flicking on the light attached to the purple letting the glow fill the room, the silence and dim light flooding me with a sense of calm.

Bad dream huh? Such bullshit.

Just fuck off. Growling to myself before closing my eyes laying silent before groaning in utter annoyance unable to fall back asleep, reaching over the the study desk retrieving the book I was previously reading, Soldier X by Don L. Wulffson. 

~~~Time skip~~~

The sun light shining slightly through the openings in the black curtain, keeping the room fairly dark however, lightly flipping the page in my book, currently gazing through the last chapter before a soft knock at the door it opening, glancing at hanjis figure stands in the doorway.

"You didn't sleep at all did you?" I hummed in response as they did the same before stretching. Checking my phone beside me, 10:43AM. lightly closing my book resting it back on the study table while standing up, stretching myself. 

"Well, we've got cleaning to do"

"yea- wait, we?" walking past them while yawning 

"Mhmm"

"How the bloody hell did i get dragged into that?"

"Because, you love me" watching them stand their, wide eyed I let out a chuckle which in turn caused them to smile. Walking to the garage door, opening it before stepping inside. Hearing a sigh

"Levi, this is going to take all day!"

"Well, better get to it then shouldn't we?" giving a cheeky grin as the whined, averting my eyes looking towards the mess sighing to myself, lightly cracking my knuckles before getting down to it. 

~~Time Skip six hours~~

"I can't believe you made me waste my Saturday cleaning dads garage! there are so many things i could have done like!..like..uh..shit."

"You had nothing to do today did you?" glancing over at them once i seated myself on the brown leather couch smirking when they mumbled some words under their breath. Pressure behind my eyes causing me to rub the bridge of my nose

"You alright?" 

"Yeah, my head just hurts a bit" they hummed in response.

"So i was thinking.." raising a eyebrow to them

"I'm uh, getting together with a some people from the school tomorrow- it's not a party! no drugs, no alcohol. Just a small gathering"

"How many."

"Uh, only four"

"Hanji I can't be around people.." almost whispering 

"You'll be with me, you'll be okay I promise." looking away from them before taking a deep breath

"Only four right?" 

"Only four."

"Who are they?"

"Uuh, A guy named Armin, girl named mikasa, Annie and another one of their friends"

"And who of them do you actually know?"

"Only Armin" i sighed inwardly 

"F-fine"

"Levi, I wont let them lay a finger on you alright?" visibly relaxing at the words. 

Our conversation getting cut of my a loud and deep string of curse words coming from the garage, both of us getting up heading out back, opening the door to see Jacob looking around with wide eyes, then noticing us standing their with clearly amused faces.

"Levi you did all this?!"

"Hey! I helped!" smirking at hanjis defense. Looking around the room, It wasn't spotless but it was organized, by shelf, size, need, and even colour for certain tools. Listening to the both of them bickering back and forth regarding Hanjis "involvement" in the overhaul.

"Levi c'mon! tell him i helped" I smirked before casually walking away without saying a word. Jacobs laugh filling my ears while i did.