In Love With My Gay Friend (EDITING)

Chapter fifteen

Chapter fifteen

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JOEY LERMAN'S POV

     I was shock to see sitting in the staircase.

     “Andee.” I said low as possible but firm and curious, narrowing my eyes to concentrate and get a clear vision of him to this hazy night.

       I slide my smooth hand on the railings for support. It was old and rusty, old and dirty. I breathed in so hard that my lungs were about to explode because of the air contaminating it- smelling the night air as I make my way up slowly and nothing lights the dark staircase but the moon on the windowsill.

Andee’s head was down. His elbows leaned on his hard knees and his forehead resting at his clasped hands. His hair nearly touching his eyes and his skin, fair as ever, in the midst of the dark night.

  

Andee cocks his head up as I called his name. As if someone had told him a very rude comment. His blue eyes, more evident in the dark, were full of exhaustion and isolation- the longing for a companion, a dog that lost his way to his very buddy. It was all painted in his eyes, even though he pushed out a very encouraging smile.

  

He stood up, rubbed his face and cleared his voice. “Erm, sorry.” Andee yawned. Oh, I see, he was sleeping. I can’t blame him. It’s nearly 9 pm and he’s here locked up outside waiting for someone. The sense of sleepiness was creeping at his face and lingers at his beaten-like body. How long has he been here? Was he waiting for me to arrive?

I don’t know.

  

“What’re you doing here?” I said, halting on my way up. My hand still grasping the hard steel, grasping it, grasping it so hard that any time soon I might actually bent it. “I… I just thought that I could come and check you out.” Andee pocketed his big hands. He seemed cold and despondent. His gazed was not at me, but at the cold ground that we’re stepping on to.

 “Well, I’m fine.” I lazily said as I move pass him. He winced as if the words stabbed him. Or so I thought he did. The words that seemed to slip into my mouth were half a lie. The words betrayed me because that’s the complete opposite of what’s inside of my trampled heart and mind. 

I wanted to tell him the truth. I want to open up to him like how I usually do. I want to scream. I want to tell him I’m not okay or… or tell him to help me because I’m drowning in my own shitty-made problems.

But unfortunately, the words just remained stocked in my head and knotted in my dried throat. The words scrambled and I just can’t find the words to fill in the empty blanks inside my damage heart.

“Oh, c’mon, Joey.” He called out to me after I turned my back to him. “If you want to apologize, save it. I think I had enough of the dramas.” I said coldly, still not turning to face him.

“I didn’t come here to apologize. I… I came here because Ellis told me so.” It stunned me, making me pivot to face him. My eyes widen, my eyebrows were creased downward as I try to think of the reason why would Ellis want Andee to be here. Is it because she’s afraid that something might harm me? Or she just…