In Love With My Gay Friend (EDITING)

Chapter twenty one

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Chapter twenty one

Andee Moran POV

        2 days. 48 hours. It was unbearable. It was dreary. 2 days straight without talking to her. Without talking to me. 2 days not knowing what to do.

        It was stressful to begin with. And lonely. And all of this was my fault.

        But I was so stuck up on my own fücking little selfish world that I was too dense to even see thar it was coming too soon. Too fast for me to even comprehend.

        I knew it would happen. I knew that somehow the truth will soon be unravel. But, dämn, it was too soon for me to even blink.

        Ellis comforted me last night. Because I swear, I was nearly crying a river. I got drunk. And got mad. Not to her. Nor to Ellis. Or to the fùcking world (even though it could be a little bïtch sometimes). I was mad to myself.

        It was my fault. I was selfish. I was stupid. I was the king among king of jerks. I was worst than Kirk. And though I hate to admit it, but I think Joey would be off better if she's with Kirk.

       No, Andee. You cant think of it like that. 

        but... it's true.

        Because I'm just another big ball stack of lies.

        The doorbell rang which eventually pulled me out of my reveries. I was tired to even stand up. But somehow I found myself standing up and idly walking towards the door.

        "How are you holding up?" Ellis asked, her hands pocketed ay her leather jacket before busting herself in my room.

        "Good morning to you too." I mumbled as I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind me.

       "Oh, come on. It's noon, drunk-äss. How are you holding up?" She asked again, throwing her leather jacket on the floor with the rest of the trash.

        I even heard her mumbling, "Dämn!" or "Typhoon hit one place." or "Eww. Gross."

        "You know, being slowly eaten by guilt." I watched her lazily as she cleared the couch away from trashes before she slumped to it.

        "I can see how you holding up. But I just cant see the sense why you're doing nothing. You're not apologizing!" Ellis pointed out.

         "She doesn't even wanted to see me!" I said, my coice croaked.

        "How can you even say that? You know? You've talk? You heard her say that? You read her mind? What made you so sure? Huh?" Ellis asked.

        "Because that's how I can see her reacting to this situation." I answered too fast. Too lazy. Too bitter.

        Ellis abruptly stood up and slapped me across the face.

        And that, is absolutely what I needed.

        "Do you literally know Joey? Are you really her best friend? Why cant you see through her? Why cant you read her?" Ellis asked firmly, half yelling and half whispering.

        "That's the point!" I said abruptly and loudly. "That's the fücking point! I cant see through her. I can't– I can't read her. Even though I've been with her for almost 6 consecutive years. I cant. Her actions were all... confusing. I dont know how I'm going to react. How she's thinking is almost far from mine! And that's what I'm afraid of. I cant read what she's thinking. I almost know nothing of her. I cant– I dont know. I dont know, Ellis. I seriously dont know." I huffed slowly.