Arizona ran a hand through her hair. The swelling had gone down and the redness had faded, but she still found herself playing with her wrists absently. She could still feel the cuffs on her skin.
"Arizona," Callie hesitated. "Can we talk?"
"About what?"
"About what happened to you."
Arizona turned away. "It's awful."
"Please," Callie pulled Arizona to her and began stroking her hair. "Let me help you."
"They...they took me somewhere. I didn't know where I was. I was blindfolded. I found out it was a barn later on," Arizona started shakily. "I couldn't scream for help. I was gagged. I was in a cold room, a dark room. They beat me until...I lost consciousness. They probably beat me after that too."
"What did they beat you with?" Calliope asked.
"The whip," Arizona answered softly.
Callie nodded, "Go on."
"I...I could taste blood. When I woke up. It stayed in my mouth for a long time. They slammed my head into the ground a lot. My head hurt. But I could hear them talking...talking about me."
"How was that?"
"Slave trading," Arizona said. She took a deep breath. "They were going to sell me if they got sick of me."
Calliope's hand stilled in Arizona's hair. "Keep-keep going."
"They realized I was awake. They asked me questions and I didn't answer. They hit me. I still didn't. They whipped me. They kicked me. They called me a lesbian like it was something dirty. The beat me with the belt buckle." She continued, tears flowing down her face, "They said I was a bitch. No better than a dog. They..."
"What next baby," Calliope prompted when Arizona stopped.
"They cut my clothes off when I kept refusing to answer. They cut them off with scissors."
"Oh Zona."
"They put something over my head. I was pinned down on the floor. Pain," Arizona hung her head. "All I felt was pain. They kept kicking me until my ribs cracked. I think...I think they were wearing steel toed boots. It hurt so bad."
"Honey," Callie's grip around Arizona automatically tightened protectively. Arizona winced. "Oh god baby, I'm so sorry."
"They're still a little sore."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Calliope said quickly.
"They did," Arizona was deadly serious. "They were angry."
Callie closed her eyes. She knew what was coming next. She didn't want to hear it, but knew that she had to. She waited, but Arizona did not continue. "Baby, what did they do?"
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just wanted the pain to stop. Please forgive me," Arizona whispered.
"Honey, what did they do to you?"
Deep shuddering breaths told Calliope what she needed to know, but Arizona needed to say it out loud. "Cal...they hurt me."
"How honey?"
"They...they raped me," Ari said softly. Callie could barely hear it but anger flooded through her veins just the same. "They beat me down...there. They hit my face with the belt. Then they kicked me in the stomach again. I'm so sorry."
"Ari," Calliope said softly, gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"Please forgive me," Az begged.
"I forgive you, honey. I forgive you."
Arizona fell into her crying. "They took everything from me." Callie resumed stroking her hair soothingly. She was trying to comprehend everything that had happened. Those sisters. They had raped Arizona, probably over and over in the months she'd been there. They had abused her in every way possible, and it cut through Callie like a knife. There was so much that they had to work through, and Arizona had said so much just then.
"Baby, it's okay," Callie said. "I'm here."
Arizona looked up at her with a tear stained face. "Calliope."
The bitter edge in her voice stung Callie, but she was starting to realize that it was unconscious. There was something that Arizona had not yet shared that was holding this bitterness within her. Some association. She shuddered to think of the extent of what had been done to her baby. But the truth was that she didn't know what to think. Right now Arizona needed strength and she couldn't fall apart with what ifs. Not right now, and maybe not ever. "You don't have to say anymore baby."
"I-I'm sorry, they were hurting me." Ari said. "I'm sorry."
"Arizona," Callie stopped her. "Honey, you don't have to be sorry."
"Did they come after you?"
"No." Arizona didn't need to know about Callie's temporary relocation. It would only serve to add to her guilt. "I was fine."
"Callie, I'm scared," Arizona said.
Calliope pulled on Arizona's hand and led her into their bedroom.
Arizona climbed onto the bed and watched Callie get ready. She was mesmerized by her curvy, tan, Spanish beauty. And confused. She knew that she loved Callie, past what had happened to her, she knew that much. But her conditioning was conflicting, making her hate Callie's presence, making her loathe Callie's existence in the way that she loathed Whitney and Penny. Immersed in these thoughts, she recoiled violently when Callie climbed into bed.
"I'm sorry," Callie said softly. "I'm sorry you're scared."
"I want to feel safe."
"I know." There was a comfortable yet tense silence between them.
Az reached up and touched Callie's hair. The Latina remained still, not wanting to spook her girl again.
Arizona seemed fascinated with her, and she assumed it had to do with her ordeal. "You have your session tomorrow."
"Session?" Arizona asked, tensing but not taking her hand from Callie's hair.
"With Dr. Evans, the psychologist," Callie said quickly. Arizona visibly relaxed.
"Oh, okay." She moved closer to Callie and ran her fingers over Calliope's face. The Latina smiled.
"What are you doing?" she asked softly.
"Remembering."
They stayed like that for a few moments longer. When Arizona pulled back, Callie immediately missed her touch. She had never before known what it was like to miss someone so deeply when they were less than a foot away. It felt like the blue sheets between them was as vast as the Pacific Ocean, creating miles of distance. But she smiled. For a moment, she had gotten her Arizona back.
Arizona turned over and Callie knew she did not want to be touched. Reluctantly, she turned over on her side, so their backs were facing each other. Otherwise she would be too tempted to touch the beautiful blonde. She reached over and turned off the light, wondering if she would sleep tonight.
An hour later, she was woken by Arizona's loud screams.
