They climbed into bed after the day, both cleaned up and ready for bed but not sleep. "Calliope," Arizona asked tentatively. "What aren't you telling me?"
"What do you mean?"
"You had a nightmare last night. You were screaming my name, asking where I was, saying 'no' over and over again," Arizona explained.
Callie closed her eyes. "I didn't sleep. When we were looking for you, I didn't sleep. At night, when I wasn't working, I went looking for you. In neighborhoods, in parks, in forests, in the lake. I rented a boat and took a flashlight over the ocean, because I thought maybe that would work, maybe I would find you. I ran through streets, calling your name. I was going crazy, Arizona. Your blood was on a knife under the kitchen window. I swore one night I saw your ghost, begging me to help you, the night after I moved back in."
"Oh Callie."
"You are my everything, Arizona. I've been looking for you for thirty years. And when I finally found you, you were taken. I refused to believe that you were dead. I refused to accept that not only the love of my life, but another best friend had been taken away from me. I refused to accept it."
Arizona tilted her head to the side, "Again?"
Callie sighed. She didn't want to get into this now. "I never told you why I came to Seattle."
"No, you didn't. So how about you tell me now," Arizona said.
Callie had to smile, she really was starting to sound like herself. But she really didn't want to get into this now. "Zona, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Tell me the truth, Cal." Arizona demands.
"I was engaged," Callie looked away. "It wasn't the happiest happily ever after, but I was making it work. I loved him and I thought he loved me. I was only his third girlfriend, but first serious partner. I caught him in bed with one of my close friends, actually. But I told him that I understood when he said that he needed to be sure that I was what he wanted. And I did, but it didn't make it hurt any less. But we worked it out, or were working it out. And then there was a shooting at our bank. A robbery. And he worked there. He wouldn't give up the money. So they shot him multiple times, in the head. I was the one who received his ambulance. I was supposed to be receiving a ten year old who had gotten in the cross fire, but they mixed up the ambulances. I pronounced him dead upon arrival."
"Calliope."
"Arizona, he died almost four years before I met you and I'd only been with him for about as long. I moved on, I did. And I came here. And then I met you. And you are amazing, incredible. You are exactly who I imagined spending my life with and my love for you outshines what I felt for him by exponential degrees. And then you were taken away from me."
"Oh Calliope."
"And I didn't want to tell you because I don't want you to feel guilty about what happened to you. And guilt is what is written all over your face right now. You cannot feel guilty for any of what happened to you," tears were streaming down her face. "It wasn't your fault, Arizona. You didn't choose that."
"Shh, Calliope," Arizona reached out for her. At her touch, Callie collapsed into her body.
"I love you so much," Callie said. "I will do anything to get you back."
"You have me, honey. You have me." Arizona said. How their roles had been reversed, she wasn't sure.
"And now I'm crying all over you when you're the one who had to face them today. I'm so proud of you," Calliope said, pulling away and drying her eyes.
