Mindless Love

18: Bittersweet

*Nicki Pov*

I dreaded walking to the cafeteria alongside Leah. Jake hasn't spoken to me since he saw Ray kiss me, which was two weeks ago, and every thing has just been so awkward between us. Ray on the other hand wouldn't leave me alone because apparently he couldn't get it through his thick skull that we would never be together.

Just as we always did, Leah and I went over to our usual table. Everyone was already there besides Chres and Ray, and as soon as we took our seats, a group conversation commenced. Jake still hasn't forgiven me, despite everyone telling him that he should. I could understand why he was still upset, but now, he was just being unreasonable. The most annoying thing was that he never even gave me a chance to explain myself. Our friends gave up on trying to get us to talk to each other, so this was now normal for us. The thing was, I didn't want this to be normal. I wanted to be with the easygoing, fun Jake that I saw back in Ocean City, not the guy that was currently sitting across from me. So at this moment, I made a decision to put everything on the line.

"Jake I need to talk to you." I said abruptly, interrupting the conversation. He looked at me like I had suggested a three some with a sumo wrestler, surprised at the fact that I had actually directly spoken to him. He composed himself so that he looked indifferent. "We don't have anything to talk about Nicole." he said nonchalantly. Too bad I wasn't going to take that for an answer.

"Jacob Perez, you are going to sit there, shut up, and listen to what I have to say." I demanded. He rolled his eyes. "Nicole I," I cut him off. "Jake, I don't give a shit what you have to say, because you don't care about what I have to say. Shut up and listen!" I declared. He crossed his arms across his chest and waited for me to continue. Everyone else at the table was quiet, also wanting to hear what I had to say. I took a deep breath and began.

"Jake, you have to understand that when we met, you were a player. You knew damn well I was inrerested in you,  but what did you do at Chres' s birthday party? You kissed some girl. So I kissed some boy that just happened to be Ray. The reason Ray and I started this thing is because I didn't know how else to get your attention. You were a player Jake. Back In Ocean City, I even witnessed you in the bathroom probably fucking some chick. And even though you thought I was with Ray, you knew damn well that I liked you. But when we confided in each other at the skate rink, I realized that you changed, and I changed too. And that's why I wanted to break off the fake relationship. I really like you Jake, and its about time you stop ignoring me." I said, out of breath. After a few moments,  he spoke up.

"What about when Ray kissed you?" he asked.

"Its not my fault  that he caught feelings. And like you said, he kissed me. I even pushed him away. Jake, you don't have to date me, but can you please forgive me?"

Everyone waited for Jake's response, untill finally he looked me dead in my eyes and replied.

"I'm sorry Nicki, but your apology is just a little too late. "

And with that, all the hope that I had was crushed.  I rose out my seat and left the cafeteria,  running to the only place that I knew would comfort me, and keep me sane. The dance studio.

Luckily, the studio was unlocked and empty. I flicked on the lights and dropped my bag. I already had on tights, so I just slipped off my skirt and shirt so that I was in a tank top, and threw on my spandex shorts.

I took my position in the middle of the dancefloor, and began dancing like my life depended on it. After a combination of turns, leaps, skips, and hops I ended in a triple pirouette.  Right when I was about to land the third one, my feet slipped from underneath my body, and I fell to the floor. Letting my emotions take control of me, I curled up in the middle of the floor and began to cry. Why was life so unfair?