Skin Deep

Chapter 6

Luke

            She’s been in the hospital for eighteen days now. I visit her almost every day, bringing another one of her friends from school with me each time. She always remembers whoever I bring with me. Always. But she still doesn’t remember me.

            The only reason I don’t break down every single day is because she still smiles when she sees me. We’re becoming close friends very quickly. She doesn’t realize that to me, we’re starting over. She thinks this is her first time getting to know me. It kills me having to listen to her reveal things about herself that she forgets I already know.

            But I listen. Because I will not lose her. Not again.

            Today, her eighteenth day in the hospital is her eighteenth birthday. What a way to spend your first day as an adult. A bunch of us are going up after school. We figure since no one from her family has come to visit yet, they won’t today and we won’t be interfering.

            Lucy looks excited to see us. “I’ve never hosted a birthday party on my ward before!” she laughs contentedly. “Oh, but no candles, please. The fire alarms will go off.”

            Lucy hushes us outside of Amanda’s room and goes in to make sure she’s awake. She knocks on the door from the inside, signaling us to come in. All ten of us burst through the door and scream, “Surprise!”

            Amanda screams too, frightened. Then she laughs, a sound that always makes me want to laugh, too. “Oh, you guys remembered my birthday!” She smiles widely at all of us. Jenna chimes in, “So did you!” and we all laugh.

            The evening carries on merrily. No one is concerned about Amanda’s burn any more, even though it has barely improved. We’ve learned to accept it, or at least to be discreet about looking at it.

            Everyone even brought presents for Amanda, or a few pitched in and got one gift. Soon there are many pieces of jewelry, some make up and clothes, and a couple stuffed animals piled on Amanda’s bed.

            Only Mark and I are left to give our presents. Mark and Amanda dated for a while back in grade nine. It didn’t last too long, and I know both are them are very much over it because Mark is head over heels for his current girlfriend, and Amanda… well, I was pretty sure she was over him when she agreed to go out with me. But I still can’t help the small feelings of jealousy that rise in me, and I have to literally bite my tongue to keep myself calm.

            Mark goes first. I see Amanda eyes light up as she reads his card. She frowns, then smiles and laughs as she takes in what I assume to be memories of their lives the brief moments they were together. She opens his gift, a teddy bear holding a heart that has ‘Thinking of You’ written across it in white, cursive letters.

            I would have been perfectly fine had I not witnessed what I saw next. Amanda, now sitting on the edge of her bed, stood up to give Mark a warm embrace. When she pulled back, the emotion I saw in her eyes ripped my heart right out of me. Worse, she had stood for the first time that evening for him.

            It was then that I couldn’t take it any longer. The festivities were still going on, but I left. I set my unopened gift on the floor by her bed and took off. Once I was on the ground level outside, I ran to my car and threw it in drive, speeding away. Tears streamed down my face; I didn’t even try to stop them this time.

            I hate that Amanda makes me feel this way. She remembers everyone else but me. She opened every birthday present but mine. She stood for Mark and looked at him like she should’ve been looking at me. I couldn’t blame her for any of it. The stupid accident that wrecked her face and stole her memory of me was not her fault. But I hate it. I hate that I love her so much and she doesn’t even know it.