Skin Deep

Chapter 24

Amanda

            It’s been ten days since Prom, and I don’t think Luke and I have been apart for more than a few hours at a time. We were together for our final days of class and we’ve spent every evening talking late into the night under the tree in my backyard, or on the swing on his front porch.

            Every day when I come home, Dianne asks the same question, “Did he ask you out yet?” She always uses the exact same tone of voice and big, curious eyes. Every day, I answer the same way, “Nope.”

            My friends and I agree that asking me to Prom doesn’t make him my boyfriend. People go to Prom with their friends all the time. He has to ask me on a date at least, or actually ask me to be his girlfriend. I mean, we hang out all the time, but we don’t really go out. Yeah, I feel the need to kiss him sometimes, or he’ll randomly grab my hand, but that doesn’t make us official.

            As of right now, we haven’t hung out in more than a day. That’s because today is our graduation and I needed lots of sleep and time to get ready. I can’t believe that I’m graduating high school today; that we’re graduating. It’s kind of surreal. Especially since it’s been exactly one hundred and fifty days since my accident. I counted, and even had Dianne count to make sure. One hundred and fifty days since my face changed forever, and I’m off to graduate.

            I have to leave for the ceremony in a few minutes, and I’m still trying to figure out what to do with the scar. The mirror in my bathroom is not kind. The scar stares back at me with angry red ridges. It has faded considerably since the accident, but it is not going to fade any further. My face is going to be like this forever. I feel tears starting to well up in my eyes, and as much as I try to fight them, I just can’t. The more I look at the scar, the more tears escape. This is totally unfair. I had to go through the last half of my senior year with a mangled face due to an accident that wasn’t my fault. I had to go to Prom and know I was the only one like this. I have to graduate high school having already dealt with more problems than anyone should in their whole life. The more I cry, the more frustrated I become with myself, and the harder I cry. I haven’t cried about this in so long; why now?

            “Girl, let’s go! You don’t want to be late to graduate!” Dianne’s voice calls down the hall, then her footsteps are coming towards me.

            I splash my face with water and pat underneath my eyes. My reflection still stares back at me broken and sad.

            “Amanda?” Dianne pushes open the already ajar bathroom door. “Come on, let’s- oh, honey!” She pulls me into a hug and I know that I haven’t done a good job of hiding my tears. “Are you sad to be graduating?” she asks.

            I shake my head and try to speak, but nothing comes out but gasps. Finally, I simply reach up and brush my hand over my scar, more tears erupting at its roughness on my fingertips.

            Dianne says nothing at first, just strokes my hair. Finally she whispers, “You scar doesn’t define you, you know. It’s just something that happened and you have to deal with it but… I think you’ll be okay. Okay?”

            I nod, but don’t move.

            “Honey, the accident is in the past, and it’s time for you to move into your future. Ready to go?”

            I nod again and this time, I force myself to smile into the mirror. Dianne is right. The scar is not who I am. I can be whoever I want. Time to graduate.