Crusty croc (Crusty Swaggs #2)(Legend of Aunt Jacob)

9: splerbs

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I just get distracted.

Large time skip.....
After the date I had with Nakoa we really hit it off.
He lives with me now in my pawn shop. (I'm Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop)
But that was until the failed abortions *shudders*

Here's how it started......
"Hey Nakoa!!"
"What?"
"I'm pregnant!"
"Well shit. Again?"
"I know."
"This is the 3rd one!"
"We should really do something about it."
(A/n: I just burped up my pulled pork sandwich)
"Like what?"
"You stopped my turtles from having babies."
"Tru."
"You could do that to me."
"I don't know about that..... It's kinda dangerous."
"Well I guess we're in the.......(intensifies) DANGER DAYS!!" (Barely referencing mcr)
"What?"
"You d-don't know what I'm talking about?"
Two more babies are born. (Me and Amanda)
"We do!"
"Ohh fuck. Now they can talk?!"
"You bet motherfuckers!!"
Nakoa pulls them out and puts them with the rest.
"But we didn't even fuck!!"
"I know!!"
"I need to go lay down. I can't handle this right now."
Jacob pushes another toddler out of they way and lays down.
"This is just too much. I didn't even know I was pregnant. I mean I have been a bit pudgier than usual. I don't even know how that's possible. After the second baby we didn't even f-f....."
Jacob drifts off to sleep.
"It's so dark in here. Where am I?"
A light appears.
"God is that you?"
"Yes my child."
"Where am I?"
"You are dreaming."
"Are you real?"
"Duhhh."
"Why are you in my dream?"
"Hold on. I was just getting to that. You are a prophecy."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I have chosen you to repopulate the planet. After the apocalypse happened."
"What apocalypse?"
"You didn't see what happened?"
"No."
"Where have you been?!"
"I tend to stay inside."
"For a two years?! Jeez. Well anyways the whole planets population has been wiped out."
"The whole planet!!! What about the important people? Like Pepe, Shrek, Kermet, Dat Boi, honey boo boo, Bill nye, Hannah Montana, Gera....."
"The 'important people' are fine"
"Oh good. So what about me being a prophecy?"
"Oh right. The planet needs to repopulate. And I choose you. You are going to stay pregnant until the planet is full of your children."
"Oh great." Jacob said sarcastically.
"I hate children."
After Jacob woke up fully he sat up and rubbed his face.
While he was asleep he had eight more kids.
"Mama?"
"Fuck off! You kids are annoying!!"
The baby flicked him off.
"Wow...... Guess I should tell Nakoa the news."
Jacob walks in the kitchen to find Nakoa the table eating lucky charms.
"Hey sweety."
"Wha?" Nakoa mumbles with a mouth full of cereal.
"Soooo...... I don't know how to say this."
"Take your time."
"I saw god in my dream...... He said I have to stay pregnant until the world is repopulated."
"Why?" Nakoa freaks out and spits milk everywhere.
"Apparently there was an apocalypse."
"Well fuck. You're just gonna stay pregnant all the time?"
"Yep. Will you stay?"
"With you? Phhh only for a little bit longer. I can't deal with all these babies."
"Oh thank you Nakoa!!"
Jacob runs up to Nakoa giving him a hug.
"How many are there so far?"
"Well I had five during this conversation. Sooo..... 17?"
"Jeez. So you have to populate the ENTIRE planet?"
"I'm guessing."
"We should probably get to bed."
The next day......
"Omg Jacob, what did you do?!!"
The whole room was full of small children.
"That's it! I'm out of here!"
"I thought you said you would stay!"
"Yeah I did. But this is too much."
Nakoa runs out the house.
Jacob starts crying.

To be continued.....