Crusty croc (Crusty Swaggs #2)(Legend of Aunt Jacob)

4: Origin of Pepe

Aunt Jacob's pov

I wake up to the sound of MCR that's coming from my Obama phone.
I get up and slip on my rainbow pussy shirt and my old man sun hat.
"Aunt Jacob!!"
Wtf was that?
"I'm hungry bitch!!"
I run into Pepe's room and I see him sitting there yelling at me.
Pepe's two now. He's gained his magical dank meme powers.
He can shoot lasers out of his ass hole.
And he helps me water my weed.
Man, frogs do age fast.
Shrek finally told me who those failed abortions are.
He said they're from the future. He won't tell me the rest.
"Can you make me some weed pancakes."
"You know I can't make pancakes."
"Awwww!!!"
"Don't worry. Gerard dropped some off today."
"Do they have weed?"
"Of corse!"
"Yay!!"
Pepe runs downstairs, opening the fridge, getting the pancakes.
I run down the stairs after him.
Pepe's already at the table eating.
He looks kinda scared.
"What's wrong Pepe?"
He points to the living room.
There's three big dudes blocking the door way.
"Um, excuse me?"
"You cannot come thru here mam."
"I live here."
"Mr Dogg and Mr Ogre are busy."
"Oh Snoops in town?"
"Yeah."
Snoop Dogg walks past the body guards.
"AJ! My man! Wuddup?!"
"Why you got security up in here for?"
"Just ignore them."
"Well they're scaring Pepe."
"Pepe? Oh right! Your kid. Is that him over there?"
"Yeah."
"Can I talk to him?"
"Sure."
"Is he allowed to have weed?"
"Yeah of corse. Actually he's eating weed pancakes right now."
"Sweet."
Snoop strides over to Pepe.
Pepe, still looking scared.
"Hey lil nigga." Snoop says, handing him a blunt.
Pepe grabs the blunt, no longer scared because of his smooth voice.
Snoop lights the blunt and they just chill.
Shrek walks into the kitchen.
"Do we have any Mountain Dew?"
"We always do."
"Nobody asked you."
"Why is Snoop Dogg here?"
"Why do you care?"
"Because it's my house."
"Actually it's my house."
"Whatever."
I'm standing in front of the fridge.
Shrek pushes me out of the way and I fall to the ground with a thud.
"Shrek, wtf?"
"You were in my way."
Me and Shrek have been having trouble with our relationship lately.
He's been getting a little abusive.
But I've had enough.
I run up stairs into our room, grabbing a suitcase throwing Pepe and mines stuff in.
I zip it up and drag it down the stairs.
"Pepe! Come on! We're leaving!"
Pepe comes running in the living room. Still in his pajamas.
"Where are we going?"
"We're moving."
"Tell your father goodbye and give that blunt back to Snoop Dogg."
Pepe goes back in the kitchen.
"Bye daddy."
"Get the fuck out my face."
"Here's your blunt back, Snoop."
"Naw you can keep it."
"Really?"
"Fo shizzle my nizzle."
"Let's go Pepe!!"

To be continued........