(The truth)
Jacob's pov
After Nakoa left me, I didn't know what to do with all the failed abortions.
I can't raise all these babies by myself!
So I called my family.
"Pepe?"
"Hey."
"I have a huge problem."
Skips to Pepe at the house......
"Wtf happened?!"
"It's a long story. Apparently I'm a prophecy and the fate of the world rests in my hands blah blah blah..."
"So why'd you call me for?"
"I don't know what to do with all these babies."
"Is there anything else?"
"I have to stay pregnant until the entire world is repopulated."
"The entire world?!"
"Yep."
"What happened to your boyfriend? Why can't he help you?"
"He left."
"Well that sucks."
"Have any ideas?"
"Idk. But we need to start shipping them."
"I'm not FedEx!!"
"Oh shush Jacob!"
Skips to a factory.....
"What the heck is this?" Jacob says, pointing to a conveyer belt.
"It's to ship the Babies all over the world."
"I can't do this all by myself! We need workers."
"I don't care what you do, we need to start shipping them out soon. They're rapidly aging."
"I know just who to call!"
"Who you gonna call?"
"Helga, Helga 2, Shrek.."
"No. Ur supposed to say 'ghostbusters!"
"No. I want a hotdog."
"Who cares what you think, you are not my mother!"
"Um..... EXCUSE ME? I AM AUNT FUCKING JACOB."
Pepe storms off.
"Get back here young man!!......I gotta pee."
Jacob walks in the bathroom to find Pepe in the toilet crying.
"Boi! Get out of there I did not raise you to swim in a toilet!"
"You never raised me at all! You don't know what it's like being raised without a mother."
"Actually I do." Dun dun daaaaaa
(That's all I'm gonna say, about that)
Suddenly Helga walks in.
"He's not supposed to be here for you! He's supposed to be here for Geoffrey."
Geoffrey starts wailing Barney sounds.
To be continued......
I actually didn't expect to write such drama. Jeez.
I just had to quote fesh pince. But I didn't know how to get it in there. (that's what he said)
So there you go.
Shreked m8.
Also today was the first day of school. It sucked ass.
They didn't have the air conditioners running.
>_<
YOU ARE READING
Crusty croc (Crusty Swaggs #2)(Legend of Aunt Jacob)
Romance(This story take place in an alternate universe) The true story of Aunt Jacob and his failed abortions. (Well some of its true) Staring: Aunt Jacob, Shrek, Gerard Way, baby daddy Nakoa, Cousin Helga, Helga 2, Bill Cosby, Pepe the frog, Illuminati...
