Underneath

Underneath-Chapter 20

I found myself at the Nokia Center in Los Angeles.

It was packed.

There wasn't one vacant parking spot anywhere, no matter where I turned.

This place was all too familiar. 

I had been here before.

This was the location where the season eight finale of American Idol had taken place, the season that I was apart of.

I couldn't understand why I was back here, though.

Not knowing what to expect, I walked through the parking lot and got to the entrance where I opened up the heavy, glass doors and stepped inside.

Supervisors and staff were moving in a hurry, never taking a moment to stop and relax as I moved past them.

I was sure that someone would have seen me by now, but it was almost like I wasn't there and the individuals around me were caught in a stream of a time that had already happened.

Puzzled, I turned my head to the right and I suddenly understood why things were the way they were.

I walked up to a poster with calligraphic writing on it that was enclosed in a glass case and I placed my hand on it, having a hard time believing what I was seeing.

I wasn't sure what to think of the two people staring back at me.

This wasn't just any event that the Nokia Center was having.

It was the night of my season, the night when the finale took place.

It explained the packed lot and the choatic atmosphere around me.

I could distinctly remember how we had a full house that night and how the preparation had been so time-consuming for not only me, but everyone who was taking part in making this finale a success.

And if this was the night of the American Idol finale, I was here and I knew exactly where I was.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to check on Adam and see if he has everything he needs." Someone said into a headpiece while walking past me.

Quickly, I lowered my hand and followed the male staff member who was taking me to the dressing room I had before the night started.

Once we arrived, he knocked on the door and I heard my past self say, "Come in!"

The staff member walked in and I followed him inside my dressing room.

"Hey, Adam!" The staff member said.

"Hey!" I said to him.

I moved from the back of the room and stood by the shadow of my former self.

It was a bit of a shock to see how I use to look.

I weighed a little more, had flat-ironed black hair and eyeliner on, and was wearing an expensive trench coat, but what stuck out to me the most was the scared look in his blue eyes.

I had always made myself appear more confident than I actually was and I still do today, but what I saw in his eyes was the fear of the unknown, not knowing where he was going to end up after this journey had come to a close.

"Okay, thanks for checking with me. I appreciate it!" I said to him with a small smile.

Once the staff member walked out, I took a seat in front of the brightly lit mirror and looked at my face in the mirror.

I remembered what I was thinking in that moment.

I was frightened, not sure of where my path would go after tonight.

Would I be good enough? Would I be able to make as much of an impact with my first album as I did on this show? Or would this be the only golden streak I would ever have?

I had known, from going through theater, that even though you may be good at one thing, it didn't necessarily fit what people wanted.

There were a countless number of auditions I had gone in to try out for and in the end, I ended up getting turned down because I wasn't what the casting director was looking for. 

And I was wondering, would this be an exception?

I wished I could tell him that there was no reasin to have doubt.

I wished I could tell him that he would front Queen multiple times, that he would launch a hugely successful first album that resulted in the Glam Nation Live tour, launch a second album that would make history, perform at several charities and life events, host a small amount of events, work with some of the greatest music producers, guest star on "Pretty Little Liars" and become a frequent "Glee" cast member, and tell him that he would have one of the most loyal fanbases in the music industry.

However, that was only going to be revealed to him over time.

I couldn't interact with my former self and as far as he knew, I wasn't even in the same room he was in at this moment in time about four and a half years ago. 

After a couple of minutes, he got up and left out.

I watched him to see where he was heading and he was making his way to the wings of the stage.

I woke up at that moment and looked at the time on my phone.

It was four in the morning. 

I placed my phone back down on my bed and put my head back down on the pillow.

I ran my hands down my face and closed my eyes.

It was a dream that I had.

I guess I dreamt it to remind myself to remember where I had come from and where I had been compared to where I was now.

I wasn't sure what triggered it, but I'm glad to have gotten a reminder of who I use to be and how I need to continue to be that way, no matter where my career may take me.