Only You (Matty Healy/George Daniel)

25: Now

I have no excuse for why this took ages except I'm working two jobs now and my health has gone to shit once again but I have returned with literally the longest chapter I have ever written.

George wakes to a warm weight pressing against his chest and a wet mouth exhaling gentle puffs of air against his neck. Soft curls tickle at his skin with each intake of breath, and George finds himself freezing in place so as not to disturb Matty in fear of breaking the solitary peace that's inundating the room.

It's rare for George to be up before Matty, especially on tour. Matty doesn't sleep nearly enough, and he's more prone to naps lately than anything else, but after his busy evening last night, George isn't all that surprised to find that Matty's a bit more knackered than usual.

George doesn't want to dwell on what Matty got up to before he returned to the hotel though, because he knows he was with a girl, fuck - even the thought has his stomach aching and his insides in knots. George shouldn't be jealous, and he's not - not really, except that he is.

He keeps telling himself over and over again that Matty isn't his, and he is more than entitled to sleep with whoever he wants, girl or guy, but George truly wishes that Matty didn't feel the urge to seek out other people's affections when he knows that George is right there ready and willing to take care of any and all of Matty's needs.

It shouldn't matter honestly, because Matty came back to him in the end, and maybe he always will, George can hope for that at least. He's not going to work himself up while he's got Matty in his arms anyway, and like most things that bother George, he finds that ignoring it usually allows the unpleasantness to dissipate eventually.

It's hard to focus on the negative when Matty shifts slightly in his sleep, his hair draping over his closed eyes in a manner that George can only describe as endearing, his face a picture-perfect definition of unconscious bliss as he groans quietly before falling silent again.

Matty's scent is everywhere, the aroma of hotel soaps and fabric softener and that unique smell that always reminds George of home. He can't explain it with words, it's more of a feeling than anything quantifiable, so he doesn't bother trying to label it.

Matty's always been that to George. Home has never really been a place or a building, not with how much he's on the road, so it's defaulted to wherever Matty is. He's the one consistent thing in George's life, the person he feels safest with, and honestly, he means more to him than anyone else in the entire world.

George finds himself wondering if he's still that solitary pillar of strength for Matty as well, if he gives Matty the same sense of stability that he finds in the older man. He prides himself on being the person Matty turns to when touring gets to be too much, he loves the way Matty clings to him when he's upset or distraught, although he'd rather Matty never experience those emotions in the first place, but he isn't sure if Matty still views him in that fashion.

Things have changed this time around though, of course they have what with their agreement, meaning that Matty seems to seek comfort in touch and desperate kisses instead of words and late night smoking sessions, which George isn't complaining about, but he's also afraid that Matty's bottling things up now that they haven't been properly speaking as much.

Matty himself seems different in a way that George can't quite understand, but he's trying not to worry himself sick over it. It's not necessarily bad, just new. It might not even be Matty at all, but more how George views him, which is a topic he is steadfastly trying to avoid because of the complications that arise with it.

George doesn't want to consider it, but right now, in moments like this when Matty is pressed against his side and the rest of the universe ceases to exist, George can't help but admit that he might be a little bit in love with him.