Only You (Matty Healy/George Daniel)

29: Collapse

"What the fuck - is this come?"

Matty snaps back into consciousness thanks to Adam's yelling, his eyes blinking blearily as he tries to see what's going on without moving George who's slumped over half on top of him.

"Shut the hell up Adam, can't you see some of us are sleeping?" George groans, his hand dragging over Matty's spine before he moves it to his tousled hair, messing it up even further as he rakes his hand through it agitatedly.

Matty finally spies Adam in the corner when he shifts his gaze away from George's face. He's got a laundry basket in his hand and he's examining what Matty now recognizes as the shirt George had used to clean them off with last night, causing a faint blush to race across his cheeks which he obscures by burrowing further into George's side.

"Well maybe if you didn't leave your wanking rags in the middle of the room, I wouldn't be making so much noise. Honestly, George, I know this is yours, so don't act so innocent."

"God you're stroppy today," George scoffs, his torso twisting to the left as he tries to find a more comfortable position to lie in. "It won't happen again, now sod off before you wake Matty."

Matty swallows heavily as Adam stomps off muttering what's most likely insults aimed at the two of them under his breath, something about the way George had spat 'it won't happen again' resonating uncomfortably inside of him, but before he can ponder on why the simple statement has him so troubled since it wasn't directed at him, he's nodding off again with his head cradled in George's lap and a subtle pressure squeezing at his heart.

~~~

Their next show is a bit of a mess. Matty's head is so clogged with everything that's happened lately that he can barely concentrate on the words he's spitting into the microphone.

He's sore, and tired, and he regrets throwing away his coke by the second song, if not the first.

Matty can tell he's not performing like he usually does, and the crowd seems to as well, but he can't unearth the side of himself that loves doing this no matter how awful everything else in his life is no matter how hard he tries.

Matty stumbles around on shaky legs and tries to pretend that he's more into his lyrics than he is, but he's mostly just waiting for the lights to shut off and this night to be over with so he can crawl into his bunk and hide from the world that's becoming too much for him to handle right now.

When he finishes the last few lines of Sex, he doesn't bother to do more than wave before he's rushing off stage, his stomach heaving slightly like he's going to be sick, which is a possibility since his diet today was mostly liquor with very little actual food.

He manages to keep his stomach contents where they belong though. When George shoots him a look full of concern, Matty pulls off what he hopes is a convincing smile.

It seems to placate George for the moment, which has to be enough for now.

~~~

Matty does end up getting ill when they return to the bus, but at least his body waits until everyone else is passed out before his mouth is swimming with bile and his insides begin cramping so badly he has to all but run to the toilet.

Matty gasps shakily when he thinks he's thrown up everything he's consumed over the past few weeks, or at least that's what it feels like, wiping away the beads of sweat that have gathered on his brow with a trembling hand that he barely recognizes as his own.

Matty stays where he is until his breathing slows down to a more normal rate, but even after he's convinced he's not going to be ill again any time soon, he can't force his aching body to move.