Only You (Matty Healy/George Daniel)

30: Leave Me

Their performance that night goes better than most. They're properly in sync with each other which has become a rarity, and the crowd is insane, singing every word back to them so loudly that Matty can barely hear himself at times.

He finds himself smiling throughout most of the show like he used to, and in that moment, he's reminded of why he loves what he does. No matter how abysmal things have been lately, this will always be worth any amount of suffering he goes through including constantly being exhausted and away from home.

But when Matty starts into fallingforyou, something unfurls inside of him that isn't just the simple joy of being on stage, although he can't quite place what it is.

He glances over at Ross when he loses his place slightly, doing his best to avoid George's gaze since the lyrics are reminding him of his best friend more than he would like.

When Matty reaches the line "I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck", he lets himself turn around, his eyes locking on George who appears to have been staring at him the entire time.

Matty's knees buckle under the intensity in his irises. His heart stutters in his chest as he faces the crowd once more, a sensation that might be longing curling up his spine, but he ignores it, pushing through the rest of the show without looking in George's direction again for the duration of the evening.

~~~

Matty ends up fingering himself on the bus that night, partially as a distraction from his cravings, but mostly because he's desperate to feel something inside of him again, and since he can't turn to George for that any longer, he's needy enough to give it a go himself.

He's been trying to sleep with dismal results, unable to get himself comfortable no matter how much he twists and turns. His cock is swollen and thick in his pants, it's been that way since their show, but Matty isn't all that inclined to touch himself since it's never anywhere as good as when George does it.

He'd briefly considered finding a fan before they'd left town, although that would have made him late for bus call, and the last thing he wants is to give his bandmates another reason to be miffed at him.

Still - he's been edgy and half-hard since he left the stage, and although it hasn't been all that long since he's gotten laid, it feels like months have passed since he's had someone else's hands on his skin.

Matty tossed out that idea quickly though when no one had caught his eye. In fact, his attention had been drawn to George most of the time they'd spent thanking the girls and occasional boy who were lined up to meet them.

George ignored him for the most part, managing to make it appear like he was simply distracted by the person he was talking to and not like he was purposely turning his body away from Matty, but Matty hadn't missed the way that George had been uncharacteristically stiff around him.

Matty acts a bit obnoxiously because of that, leaning into George's space and bumping against him as often as he can while still playing it up as an accident, but George never comments on it.

He'd gone straight to bed once they'd returned to the bus, leaving Matty frustrated and confused and questioning everything that he'd previously been so sure of.

Matty wonders if pulling away from George is a mistake, if he's making things worse than they would have been if he'd continued on as they were, but it's too late to back out of his decision now, so he grits his teeth and climbs into his own bunk with a short huff that no one hears, trying not to jostle his cock which refuses to soften even now.

Ross' advice replays in his head on a constant loop as he curls up under the sheets, the words mocking him since his attempts at mending things between him and George have backfired on him once again.