Only You (Matty Healy/George Daniel)

36: Safe

Matty hunches down inside of his hoodie as they make their way through the crowded airport - actually, it's George's hoodie, but Matty isn't too bothered with the semantics at the moment. He doesn't want to be here, in fact, he's overcome with the urge to bolt at the first opportunity. He has no idea where he'd go, but that doesn't lessen the intense desire that fills his limbs which is screaming at him to run.

It's light in here, but cold all at once. The sun makes its way through the giant windows, but it does nothing to warm the interior of the airport. It's a startling metaphor for how Matty feels at the moment. He's awake, moving, living, but inside he is anything but. Still, everyone pretends that he's fine, they don't complain about his lack of warmth, at least not to his face. He's sure they're whispering about him behind his back, but it's not like he can blame them.

Matty avoids everyone's eyes, even his bandmates. He can't face them right now, not when this is all his fault. When he had properly awoken from his binge, Matty had spoken with the entire band as well as Jaime, and the decision had been unanimous that they return to London, canceling the rest of their tour. Still - Matty isn't stupid, he knows it's because of him that they're heading home. He'd asked for this of course, and he thinks he does need it, but he still feels guilty as hell that he's ruined this for his friends.

Matty needs helps though, he can't deny it any longer. His dance with drugs has gotten out of hand, even he can admit to that. He wants to get clean - he does, but he doesn't want to deal with whatever that entails. He just wants to rewind time and erase the last forty-eight hours, maybe then he can change his actions and none of this will ever happen. That's impossible though, he knows that too. Nothing is going to be the same anymore now that he's fucked everything up, but he has no idea how to live with that fact.

Matty lets George guide him throughout the seemingly never-ending hallways until they reach a security check during which Matty actually has to participate slightly, at least he manages to drag out his passport on his own. After they make it through customs, they are deposited in the waiting area. Matty gladly sinks into the nearest seat, his fingers tugging nervously at his hood in the hopes that no one has recognized them.

Someone is being continuously paged over the intercom - Deidra maybe? Apparently she is about to miss her flight, and the person running the microphone is doing their best to locate her. Matty finds himself scanning the people around him, looking to see if anyone near them is the missing person. He isn't sure why he cares, but perhaps if he's able to prevent someone else from making a blunder, it will lessen the fallout from his own. That sounds stupid even in Matty's mind but it doesn't lessen the urge at all.

"You want anything?" Adam asks in Matty's general direction, distracting him from his pointless crowd surveillance. He's not sure if he's being asked directly, but he still shakes his head no anyway. "Well alright, I'm gonna get myself a coffee."

"I'll take one too," John speaks up, taking Adam's attention away from Matty for the moment, which he's very grateful for.

George takes the spot next to Matty after a few minutes have passed. Matty knows it's him without looking up, but he doesn't acknowledge his presence. He has no idea what to say to him honestly. He's extremely grateful to George for taking care of him when he needed him most, but he hasn't forgotten being left on his own after their night together, and he isn't sure if George has forgiven him for his irrational actions, or if he even deserves his forgiveness.

"Sure you're not thirsty...or hungry maybe?" George asks in a quiet rumble when Adam has cleared off for the moment.

"No," Matty shakes his head sullenly. He is craving something, but it isn't food or drink, in fact - he has no idea how to quantify it in words. He just feels...empty maybe? He wants to tear off his skin, to disappear from this situation entirely, to perhaps crawl inside of George's chest and hide from the world until he is ready to face everyone again, but those are all impossible desires.