Only You (Matty Healy/George Daniel)

35: Remain

Matty knows he's dreaming although he's not sure how - he just does. Everything around him looks real but not all at once. An ethereal tinge stains his surroundings, leaving them cloudy and murky, the specifics of where he is eluding his mind no matter how hard he tries to fixate on landmarks that might help him understand where he is. Matty keeps walking forward like he has been for what seems like years. His feet plod along without any input from his brain, and he lets them. He doesn't want to be here, in this dark, unknown place, but he has no idea how to escape it either.

With each step he takes, he hears a following echo, but it's not a normal sound. It continues on for ages, ending with a shattering sort of crescendo that reminds him of breaking glass. He cringes away from the noise, attempting to silence his footfalls in the effort to lessen the crashing, but it only seems to grow stronger by the second - louder, deafening him with its might until it's all he can hear.

Suddenly, everything stops. Blessed silence fills the air, broken only by Matty's rapid heartbeat that is suddenly much too loud in the still atmosphere. Matty places a hand over his chest as if he can stop the vital organ from pumping blood, at least momentarily. It seems so important to maintain this moment of peace, but his own morality ruins it despite his best efforts.

Then the ground gives out underneath him and Matty is plunging into nothingness. His heart pounds rapidly, scorning his attempts to silence it with steady surges while Matty continues to cling to his chest weakly. He no longer cares about the noise, he's too afraid of what will happen to him when this plunge ends and he hits the ground or whatever is waiting below him.

Suddenly, the sensation of a strong pair of arms wraps around Matty's torso. He's still falling, but he's no longer afraid. He is protected now, safe in this embrace. He can't see who is holding him, but he doesn't need to, it truly doesn't matter anyway. Matty so rarely feels this way, so he basks in the glory of it even as the wind whips his curls into his eyes painful and the two of them fall into oblivion together.

~~~

A faint knock rings through the room, or perhaps that's just Matty's head pounding, he can't be sure anymore. The dream he'd been experiencing disappears in a metaphorical puff of smoke as the annoying sound continues. He tries to open his eyes, but that seems to be an impossible task. He's so tired, he just needs to sleep for a few minutes longer.

He's not ready to face the outside world yet; that would mean admitting to his mistakes, he'll have to own up to what he did last night, to the fact that he fucked up their show, that he probably disappointed their fans...god, he's not ready for this. He knows his actions always bear consequences, but that doesn't mean he wants to deal with them just yet.

But the dream is there waiting for him the second he relinquishes his mind to the blur of unconsciousness. He is still falling, and it's terrifying. His stomach is in his throat and tears sting his eyes. His safety net is gone, he is alone again, and he finds himself screaming into the void for George, the only person he trusts to come and save him.

The ground is coming closer every second, he can see it now, the scorched earth is rising to meet him like a menacing wave composed of sand and sharp rocks. Matty squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to avoid his fate, and at the last second, something stops his descent. He doesn't have time to look and see what has saved him before the scenery is shifting again, but deep down, Matty knows who it is.

~~~

The next time Matty regains his senses, it's to the sound of a voice - George's voice to be specific. Matty can't quite remember what happened earlier, but the one thing he does recall is the sensation of being held tightly by George. He is unsure if the embrace took place in real life, or if it's simply the remnants of his dream, but either way, George's presence acts as a relaxant. Matty instantly unwinds when he realizes the younger man is here with him. He still has no idea where that is, but George will look after him just like he always does.