A directioner's diary.....

8

Zayn left, I cried silently.
Four of them decided a break, I accepted.
Louis became a dad, I loved his child.
Harry played in a movie, I am excited for him.
Liam and Niall are deciding to go solo,  I wish them all the success in life.

But what now? What about us? My brain says they are not comming back as 1d now. I realised that this industry is far from what we see from above.

Sometimes I think they will come back as five hearing zayn cancelled all his concert due to anxiety. I know it's impossible now and it's not that I want him back, both are doing fine sepearetly but this doesn't makes any sense. It's not one or two concert, he already cancelled three concerts. He was not that opened type from the very first. We all know when he was in band the boys used to do all the talking, he was not the comfortable type with the crowd, but I think he said he was pretending all those years so I thought he would be all open type with his new fans in new life but it seems it's not working for him. His real self is not supporting him either.

Do well Zayn. Live well. No matter how dissapointed I am I can never hate on you cause you were my first love even tho you were pretending I was not. Even if I say something mean and turn my head around you will always be in my heart. So, just live well and don't get all stressed up. Be happy cause you deserve all of it.

And about boys I will just plug on my ear phone and play 'History' with full volume until my mind gets tired and stop making me over thinker. I miss you make it fast as possible?