Memories In Italy

Chapter 39

"I think it's almost exactly the same letter as we have!" I said when I read the first sentences of the letter Chiara sent to Sofia. "Not really, but she tells the same things. Only in a different way," she said.

 We all read the letters silently then. When I finished I thought about the letter we received. 

"I know how much you love letters, that's why I decided to write this one. I don't know how to start and of course you will never forgive me. But you know what they say, 'if you don't try, you'll never know'. I would like to know if you could forgive me, but I am aware no one will come and visit me to tell that. And of course I also know the chance you ever forgive me is so little, even smaller than my sense of humanity. Hopefully, you didn't throw this letter away by now, because the thing I really wanted to say besides that I feel really sorry for my behaviour, is that I'm not in jail." 

The first time I read that, I almost had a heart attack. I thought she was free again and put the letter in our mailbox herself. So she had probably been here. But apparently I was wrong...

"I am in a psychiatric institution!" 

I know we all said and thought she was crazy, but I never expected her to be really...but really crazy! 

"I take my medicines very strictly and I now realize what I have done. Not only to you and to Aline but also to my own family. I hate myself! More than I ever hated anyone else!" 

Well...she must really hate herself if she wrote it like that.

"I'm not going to bother you with the rest of my story! I also don't do this because I want attention. I just want to tell you I'm sorry! Really! To finish this letter, I hope you and Aline have a wonderful wedding! Maybe it's already over, I don't know. Just be happy! And after this letter, you'll never hear from me again!"

Gianluca was right. You don't need to study every word to memorize a letter. It just happens when you read it a lot. Last days, I kept thinking about the letter and whether we should answer it or not.

"What do you think of it?" Piero asked us. Gianluca lifted his shoulders. "It's difficult!" he only said. "I actually..." Sofia started. Piero helped her finishing her sentence because it seemed like she was afraid of telling us. "She wants to visit Chiara!" I was not as shocked as it might seem that moment. I thought about it as well. 

"It's still my sister!" Sofia said because both of us kept quiet. "I understand!" Gianluca said. "You can go! But I'm not going!" The last part was a surprise for me. Since Gianluca was such a good person, I thought he might think about it. But it seemed he already had decided. "I'm going with her!" Piero said. That was smart, I wouldn't let her go alone to that crazy person. "Yeah, eh...I wish you good luck and I hope she's alright but I'm not going to visit her, just like Gianluca," I said

half an hour later

We were alone again. Gianluca suddenly took my hand when I walked away to do the dishes. "Aline..." he said, "if you want to visit her, I'll go with you!" he said. "Is it so obvious I even thought about it?"
"I know you like nobody else knows you, you know?" he said seriously. But than we both laughed. "I don't know if I know exactly what you know!" I laughed. He took me in his arms, like we were going to dance. "I realize I should have told you about the letter..."
"Stop Gianluca, it doesn't matter! We're acting like we have a fight. I don't want that. We don't have a fight!"
"That's true, I just want to tell you, I'll never have a secret anymore and you can tell everything to me. So if you want to go...?"
"Well, actually I was thinking about it, but I now think a letter will do!"
"A letter, it is!" he said and his kissed my nose.