Memories In Italy

Chapter 14

The doctor had told us Gianluca partly forgot some things. There was no explanation why he forgot me and not Piero for example. But a possible one could be, that he lost the most beautiful memories. Okay...I made that up myself to feel better about it, because in that case, it was quite a compliment for me.

"I'm so sorry!" Gianluca started when I was visiting him again. "I really don't know who you are." Tears welled up in his eyes. Poor Gianluca. Of course it was not me but him who suffered the most of it. "And I'm sorry my reaction was so weird." I smiled at him to make it obvious I was not mad or something. "It's okay!" He heavily nodded his head. "No, it's not! You are my fiancee! I'm so mad at myself right now. You're probably a very special girl and I don't even remember. How can that be okay?" I felt the tears come in my eyes as well. "It's because of the accident!" I said with a lump in my troath. "Please don't blame yourself!" But then I realised he was calling to me when he had the accident. Maybe it was all my fault.

He might not recognize me, but I recognized him again. He felt guilty for something he shouldn't feel guilty for and he felt bad because he didn't know me. At least, that was a good begin. Besides, he wanted to talk to me, it was not like he didn't wanted to see me anymore.

"Can you imagine waking up and knowing you lost more than a week of your life?" he asked. "This is a thousend times worse. Those few days are nothing against what I really lost apparently. I lost you! I don't remember a single thing. Not your full name. Not your favourite movie. Not how you like your coffee. Nothing. And so, I also don't have a clue what I need to do now," he said desperat. "Aline De Smedt, Titanic, coffee with a lot of milk and sugar," I said. "I will try to remember that now," he said. I wish I could hug him, but I didn't want to because to him it must feel like hugging a stranger.

"I would like to rest now," he said. "Maybe I can remember things after sleeping a bit." I looked sad to Gianluca who still sat up in his bed, waiting for me to leave. I walked to the door but then I changed my mind. I turned around and gave him a little kiss on his forehead. He might not have liked that but I did. He always used to tell me I needed to think about myself too. Well in this case, I did. I just really needed a second of his touch. And then,with a strange feeling, I left the room. "I'm so sorry," I heard him say when the door was already closed.

"How was it?" Ignazio asked curious. "He doesn't know a single thing about me. And that just hurts so much!" I couldn't hold my tears. Again. Ignazio took me in his arms and then brought me to a chair. "What now?" Ignazio asked. "If I only knew!"