The Truth Behind The Smiles

The Live Shows

I spent as much time as i could with Lauren before the live shows started, cherishing every moment praying it would never end. Time went so fast and before i knew it it was time for her to move into the xfactor house. I helped her move in and we both held eachother so tightly, sobbing not wanting to let go. We knew we wouldn't see eachother for a while and my heart broke at the thought of it. I kissed her goodbye and made my way home, i locked myself in my room and laid there sobbing for hours and hours. I pulled out my phone and text her "i love you so much baby and im so fucking proud of you. Smash it for me ill be watching every week and waiting for you when you arrive home, enjoy every moment princess you deserve this so much, miss you already".

I was shocked that Lauren didn't reply to my text infact she didn't reply to any of my texts over the next few days. I switched on my tv in my room as the xfactor first live show was about to start, Fifth harmony was the opening act. It showed a small Video of the girls rehearsing and doing things friends do. They seemed so close already and my heart shattered, she looked so happy around these girls. Holding there hands hugging them constantly and i can't even get a text off her. My heart shattered. The performance was amazing and i was so proud of her, i was trying to be happy for her but i couldn't help but feel hurt by our distance. i decided to send her one last text.

"Well done baby you was amazing, but why havent you replied to my texts? I know you've been on your phone i have seen your tweets to the girls. Lauren if im not what you want anymore you need to tell me cos this fucking hurts" to my surprise She text me back instantly, my heart sank. "Lucy im so sorry ive been concentrating on getting everything perfect for the show i understand how hard this must be for you. I love you but i think we should put us on hold atleast until im home, im sorry".

I never replied to that text and we didnt speak for a couple of weeks until i saw all the headlines and fans tweets, i was furious i had to call her.