The heart of a poet

Before

No matter how much better I get than what I was before
Well BETTER is what it seems
Somehow not long from that state of 'better'
The past the comes back out to haunt me
Like when the healing cuts I keep covered are seen
And well I think of the ones I have from before that are now faded
And every mark a story to tell
A story of a bad time
A story that is far from a story actually
Well you see more like a nightmare
But a nightmare is a dream
Where as mine is just life
Sometimes familiar faces bring back ghosts from my closets
Sometimes certain words send me back to dark thoughts? Yes
Oh how can you be alright?
Because to me alright is just better than before
Because to me good is when I'm smiling more than before
Because to me happy is how I felt when I had them, but that was just before