The heart of a poet

Feelings I hold

Does it make you feel strong to hurt me?
Why can't you let my heart be?
My feelings will never fade...it seems
No matter how hard I try continuously he is my last thought at night
Is hurting me some sort of untold victory?
Will you receive a trophy, or some sort of token for ripping out my heart?
I try and forget you but in my dreams you still find me...
But you don't still love me.
I hate it all
I hate not being able to tell you how I feel
And when you speak of other girls an anger rushes up inside of me
An anger that I don't mean to have
I hate being jealous
But most of all I hate myself
Because I find myself replaying the day this all began
And of course because now it's too late I've thought of things that would've made it so it didn't have to be this way
I screw up everything
A burden to some I loves life
The fuck up, Emily
Always losing the happiness I find
Is a pain baring life worth living?
Or would a guilty suicide suffice?