The heart of a poet

Faded

Steadily one by one the number of cuts on my skin grows
An outlet for me to show how much pain I keep locked inside
A way to show how many times I've cried and how many times its felt as though I died inside
What I want is for you to hold me in yours arms and use your sweet words to sing me a lullaby
What i wish is for you to lay by my side at night to silence my cries for help with your lips against mine
No don't get me help, don't buy me pharmaceutical pills to take
What I want it for my heart not to break...well to not break more than it has
Sometimes I wish I was in a car crash and I think it would be a blast
Hyped up on painkillers but the question is are they strong enough to stop the pain in my heart?
What I need to know is how many shots does it take to feel numb to the pain?
How many puffs of a blunt until I can let it all fade away?
How many pills do I need to take until my life becomes a daze?
How many boys do I need to fuck to forget my love?
How many days do I need to wait until this piercing pain goes away?
How long do I need to wait to tell him how I feel before it's too late?
How long would he hold me in his arms?
How long would he love me if we were together?
How long would we have to be before I finally felt complete?
How much of my poetry does he need to read before he realizes and sees how much he means to me?
I love you darling but I hate this pain I'm left feeling since our love is now in the past
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Authors note:
I wanted to say that the first few lines about self harm do not abide to me,but I also thought I should mention that I do mean to sound as though I take it in a light manner. I'm sorry if there's some of you reading this that are in such pain that you do this and if you know people struggling with this. If you need help I'm always here to talk so you may message me directly. Just please don't harm your skin, cutting is an addiction so please don't fall victim to it. That's all, love you all.
                                       Much love,
                                             •Emmy