The heart of a poet

Pills

Popping purple pills
Silent sad suicide
No one to save that life
I couldn't save that life
Worthlessness screams my name
Because worthless is what I am
Crying is so silent and useless
It doesn't change a damn thing and well it definitely doesn't turn back time
Number one I sang my meaningless words and luckily they were heard, but she only survived because I made something click that made her not want to die
Number two I'm sorry that I couldn't save you, you didn't want me to feel guilty but I just can't help when you were so close but now you'll be underground
I'm so sorry for being worthless for not being able to save your life
It's because of me that you won't need another breath
God I'm fucking despicable, greedy is what I am
I knew you were in pain because of the pills but I wouldn't let you sleep so you didn't have to feel a thing
Darling I'm sorry for telling your story, but I must speak of me the one who chokes
And now because of me you're gone
13 years old and I'm already silently dying inside
So sick of trying, crying, lying, and trying to convince myself that well I'm not better off dead
Some day soon my switch will flip
Too much on my shoulders
Stress on top of stress sits above my neck
Misfortune is what I bring, almost as strong as a tsunami
Hopefully my suffering will be over soon, I mean pills aren't a bad idea HE did say he felt at peace
Or maybe I'll fix my personality and become cold
No longer needing someone to hold, no longer letting people step into my life
Because as fast as they come is as fast as they go
If I became distant maybe I'd stop getting hurt over and over like a broken record
The track plays sweet and then there's yet again a mishap and well the screeching sound represents the screams I wish to let out of my mouth when I cry in the middle of the night