The heart of a poet

flushing back

once upon a time there was a girl
she was hopeless
she was over it
over it all
then a light came shining through
and darling it was you
then after a good few months the sun went down
making a year since she met this person she grew to love
making closer and closer to the day when they got torn away
she met someone new, a friend, that started to help her through
in a time of darkness where living was the last thing she wished to do
of course they got ripped away too
and on this night she took a trip to her past
i mean no matter how far away you get eventually you have to go back
and now she lies confused as ever
a loss of someone who almost pushed her past the point of no return months ago
but today after her trip to the past she doesn't know if they really were lost
she believed her self to be healed though
just left with the occasional sad thought and anxiety
but today she doesn't know what to do
because this is the first night she's cried of sadness in awhile
the problem is she knows how this goes
and she doesn't want to go back to that place again
a place of pain
so much pain stacked to the point where she wished to no longer go on living
where she wished each day would be her last
where she wanted to end it all
but couldn't
so what is she to do now?