The heart of a poet

Inside

Don't tell me I'm wrong or that it's not true because that won't change what I see. What I see is nothing but my faults, just the thoughts of an average teen. Can't stand being at home, but yet I have no where else to go. Staying in school just so I can leave my so called "home" because I don't feel at home. I get so sick of my surroundings so I change up my room but deep down I know it won't change how I feel. But I still tell myself it will because it gets me by. Parents want me to leave my room but my room is the only place I can truly be me.... Such dark times and memories of my sad eyes, so ready for goodbyes. People think I'm lonely when I don't speak and spend most of my days locked in my room, but it's because
every word I speak is just me covering up how I'm dying inside. The days I feel extra distant is when I question what people see because well it's just surprising to me that people can't hear my internal screaming. I feel like I'm being eaten alive by the pain and feelings I've buried deep inside. The occasion where someone notices that I seem a little off that day, even though I'm off everyday, they expect me to open up so easily. How do you expect me to talk about something I have trouble understanding myself? How do you expect me to be willing to feed you the thoughts that run through my head? You would think I was crazy, you would shed a tear and say sorry. Which is what I don't understand. When people apologize for the pain I'm feeling when they weren't the cause. So please don't pity me, this sadness is just a part of me. Yes some days I'm happy, others I'm sassy and some days I'm just sappy. But my darling this is just me.