Happy With You

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I closed my eyes as I allowed Chandler to absentmindedly run his fingers through my hair as we watched the movie.

My head was on his lap and he was sitting cross legged on my couch.

"Are you sure you're not uncomfortable?" I asked, tracing small patterns onto his folded leg.

He shook his head,"You're all that matters."

Most people would be ecstatic that their boyfriend said something like that, but not me.

I knew that Chandler has struggled with the concept of living for a long time and ever since that day I leant him my umbrella, he's always talked down on himself.

I sat up and looked at him, taking his hands into my own.

"I'm not all that matters. You matter too. I love you. You know that, right?"

He nodded and placed a small kiss on my lips.

Out of nowhere, the front door started to open and in came my mother, dripping water from every inch of her body.

"Hi Mom," I greeted from the couch," How was work?"

She rolled her eyes,"I said no Manuel. I want the purple roses. Not blue, purple."

The woman placed her purse on the end table beside the couch and continued right past me and into the kitchen without any acknowledgment whatsoever.

"I'm sorry baby," Chandler whispered in my ear, pulling me into his lap,"I know what it feels like to be in that place where you feel like no one cares about you."

I felt a tear slip down my cheeks and took my boyfriend's hand into my own, pushing back lightly so my back was pressed against his chest.

"All those months ago when I met you, I was the most lonely, self loathing kid on the planet. I hated myself so much because my parents didn't care enough to spend any time with me and they left me in the house for hours at a time, by myself with nothing but my thoughts."

I felt a chill run through my body.

Chan had told me this a couple of times before, each time striking me more than once.

I flipped our hands so I could see the scars splayed on the once smooth surface.

I leant down and kissed them, knowing full well that I couldn't make them go away, but I could make sure he never felt that way again.

"If your mom doesn't want to make the time to spend with you, then she's the one that's missing out, okay?" Chandler asked, pecking my cheek softly,"You're an amazing, beautiful girl and if she doesn't see it, it's her loss."

"Why are you so good to me?" I asked, tracing little patterns onto the back of his hands.

"What are you talking about?"

I sighed,"You always make me smile. Even when I'm completely down and I believe that nothing can make me smile, you always manage to do just that. You make me feel special and call me sweet names, but I can't seem to ever find a way to make you happy."

He shook his head, and made a small grunt of diasagtrement,"Don't say that."

"It's true though. You always put yourself down and no matter what I say, you'll never believe how special you are to me."

I felt Chandler's breathing slow as he sat in silence for a moment.

I fiddled with his fingers, only the sound of the abandoned movie playing in the background.

"Shelby," Chan started,"You know that I've always had problems with myself as a person and I love that you're okay with that. I love that you're you and I love that my emotions mean so much to you. What I don't love is that you're getting so upset about how I feel about myself."

"I just want you to be happy," I muttered.

"I am happy," he said, using his forefinger to turn my head to face him better,"I'm always happy with you."

Aaaaaand, there it is. The great idea that has taken me about a week to write (Note my sarcasm)

I appreciate all the reads, comment, and votes and I just want to say that y'all are the best.

Luv ya ~Miki

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