Always Have, Always Will

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"Felicia," Carl called excitedly as he ran into kitchen where I was eating a small supper, "You'll never guess what happened today."

I shrugged, "What?"

My best friend tended to get overexcited about some things.

Now would be one of those times.

It was one of the many things I loved about him.

Carl and I had been friends even before the apocalypse, and surprisingly, it was one of the things that remained constant in this hell of a world.

I don't know when it first started, but there was no denying that I had an extreme crush on the shaggy haired boy.

"Guess?" he said, sitting next to me.

"You shot a walker," I asked.

He shook his head and motioned for me to continue.

"You got bit?" I asked to mock him.

He rolled his eyes playfully and smiled,"I asked Enid out today and she said yes."

It took all I could to not cry in front of him in that very moment.

Sure, Carl was my best friend in the whole entire world, but that wasn't going to stop the fact that I really really liked him.

I would say love, but I don't know what that it.

"Uh," I stammered,"That's great."

He frowned at me,"Are you okay, Felicia? You look like you're upset."

I shook my head and got up quickly,"Me?"

I gave a forced smile and threw my plate in the sink, turning away from the boy,"I'm fine. I just need a little air."

Carl came up behind me and took my hand, pulling me so I was facing him.

We were so close that we might as well have been one person.

"Are you sure?" he asked me.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the urge for flowing tears was becoming all too much.

I yanked my hand back and ran out of the house, into the forest, to be hidden from the truth.

I've known Carl since we were little kids, and still, he would rather choose a girl that he only met a month ago when we first made it to Alexandria.

My heart was practically breaking at this point and I started to feel so many different self hatred emotions.

"Why can you never be good enough?" I mumbled, letting the tears slip down my face.

The last thing I saw before I blacked out was the small, faded shadow hovering over mine.

When I awoke, I looked around to see Carl, Enid, Maggie, Glenn, Daryl, Aaron, Sasha, Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita kneeling in an arc with me in the middle.

I tried to move my hand, but a sharp pain ran through my entire body.

"Oh look," a man holding a bat covered in barbed wire said, "Someone is awake."

"Don't touch her, Negan," Rick yelled.


"Oh," the man who I suppose was Negan said," But I already did. It's amazing how she can scream so loudly, but can't even find the strength to open her eyes."


I felt my hands behind my back start to shake.

That would explain all the pain. The thing was, I couldn't even remember the beating.

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