The IRE of Winter

[ 8.2 ]

The murmurs died, all eyes turned to me. Suddenly, my heart throbbed, chills ran through skin piercing me softly. I swallowed my fear as I felt the lump in my throat. Have I done right? I looked about wondering if it was best to just walk away and hide, but something took over me and I said,  'I'll do it. I must. For my father and for the ones I love.'

'B..But---'

'It's alright, Gandalf. My contract should end today. You are no longer responsible for keeping me safe but I would gladly accept your help.' I swallowed the second time, a moment past and I found myself regreting. What have I done? But it was too late for that, my adventurous side have won. Aramis and Gimli looked at me in disbelief, so with everyone. Lord Elrond gave me a thin smile, his eyes showed a sign of relief.
'If you would excuse me, my Lords, and wizards, and... (Looking around cluelessly)...I'd like to take my leave.' I felt a sudden urge to escape, I couldn't stand there with everyone staring at me like that. My knees were trembling, the kind of feeling that weakens my soul, I don't know if I made the right decision, but it's  too late to recoil, I have given my word.

With a nod coming from Lord Elrond I left the council half-running. Legolas followed.

I gave the old man one last glance before turning back, he was worried. I walked as fast as I could, down the stairs and crossed the connecting arched bridge, headed towards the guest house. I didn't speak, or looked back - I knew Legolas was  following me. We came to the alley and the sun was burning bright. Sunbeams slipped through the trees, the shadow of tall and huge pillars lines up in the hallway. I ran escaping Legolas as fast as I could. But he was faster, he caught my arm and pulled me to a halt at a corner when no eyes  were looking. 'Let go of me,' I twisted. His grip was strong.

'Why do you do this?'

'Do what?'

'Pretending you are strong.'

'Perhaps I am. You judge things as you see it, elf!  What you see doesn't always mean it's how it is. You don't know me, I know what I'm doing. I am...a skinchanger, skinchangers are way stronger than you think, do you not agree?'

'No.' He pulled me to the other side as if shifting his anger. 'You reckless human, since when did you lose your mind? What are you trying to prove?'

I dared to look at him, his gray eyes filled with pity. Something was different in his tone, could it be guilt? 'Save your pity for someone else, I don't need it,' I pulled back.

But it only made his grip stronger. 'I do not pity you, if you are clever enough you could have guessed it. You are nothing but a careless impulsive girl. Gandalf was trying to help you, and you've  made him look like a fool.' He let go of my hand and I flinched, the pain was sharp, his grip left a red mark around my wrist. What kind of hands does this elf have?

'Stop acting like you care, you heartless elf, it doesn't suit you. You are no longer my guardian and stop following me.' I screamed turning my back and head back to the guest house.

'Stop acting like a child, Safirah, I followed you because I wanted to help. Gandalf would do the same, now that you have given your words - you have noone to turn to.' He chased me up to the hallway to guest house, scolding me like he knew better.

'Help me what? Firing arrows and throwing knives? I am not a warrior, I don't have the agility or strength. I don't think I'll need all of that anyway.'