A/N the song above is the song you are listening too during the imagine :) I suggest listening to it while reading
I see him, hand in hand with another girl. I should be used to this by now. I should be over him but my heart is just not giving in. I look down not being able to bare the sight of him kissing, hugging, loving someone that's not me. I place my icy cold hands around my warm coffee cup. I turn up the music playing through my headphones, blocking out the sounds of the small cafe.
Don't you wish that you could just sometimes rewind moments to try them again and make them different?
Don't you sometimes wish that you could stop thinking about him because you know he's not thinking about you?
Don't you wish you could stop loving him because you know he doesn't love you?
I don't know how many times I've wished these things on shooting stars or at 11:11 but it just doesn't seem to be working.
Nothing's changed. My heart still loves him. But he doesn't love me. He never did.
I hate that I'm still hoping that he'll come back, that he'll say that this was all a big joke and that he loves me.
Is it funny how when I read his texts I can hear exactly how he would have said them? I'm not even a whisper in his thoughts but he's the screaming in mine.
Memories flash through my mind.
The time he pushed me on the swing in our park. The time he showed up at my door with a rose and a beautiful smile. The time we stayed up all night just gazing at the stars, wrapped up in each others embrace.
I hate getting flashbacks of things I don't want to remember, because sure I can delete his photos, his texts, his number but how do I delete his face, his voice, our memories. I tried to forget about him but the harder I tried the more I thought about him. When I can't sleep I think of him, I wish he was there to hold me.
My heart was taken by him, broken by him and now it's in pieces because of him.
I wish I could ignore him like he ignores me.
I remember the night I ran home, the sobs uncontrollably escaping me. The tears didn't stop all night and I didn't sleep any nights that week. I was crying so much I realised that I could barely breathe. He was my light and after that, it felt like I was lost in the dark no light to guide me out of the maze.
It hurts when you realise you aren't as important to someone as you thought you were. I love him and it's killing me.
All I want to do right now is to cry, scream and let it all out because it's killing me inside.
Looking up, I see his arm slung around her shoulder, their backs facing me.
I hope he's happy now, I really do. I hope he doesn't do the same to her, no one deserves to feel this way. I'm not mad at him, I'm just sad and disappointed that we didn't become something more.
I think it's time I let him go. And that's so hard to do because a part of me will be in love with him for the rest of my life. But the daydreaming, the running in place, it's not healthy. I can't do that anymore.
Joe turns around and our eyes meet. His eyes are still as beautiful as ever. A single tear escapes my eyes, making it's way down my cheek. He just turns back around.
