New Limits || Barry Allen [1]

39| Doubt

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I woke up to the sound to really loud snoring from somewhere in the house, slowly I got up and walked into the living room where Barry, Caitlin and Cisco were sleeping. I sighed at the sight of them sleeping in my living room but that later turned into a smile as I made my way into my room to pick up blankets. I covered each of them with blankets and when Barry reached for my hand.

"Barry go back to sleep." I whispered as I pulled my hand away.

"No." He said softly as he sat up from the couch. "I need to talk to you."

"We can talk in the morning." I said making sure I didn't wake Caitlin or Cisco who was snoring loudly. "Go back to sleep."

Barry soon up and I rolled my eyes at his stubbornness. "No, I need to talk to you."

"Okay, okay." I agreed as I motioned for him to follow me, I lead him into the room and gave him a confused look. "What can you possibly want to tell me now?"

"I need to clear something up." He admitted still half asleep. "When you said that the only reason that I wanted you here was because I thought you were going to join the League again, that isn't true. Of course I don't think you'd go back to them. When Oliver told me all I could really think about was bringing you back here. I didn't think twice about having you here with me."

I sighed as I took in what he just told me. "Thank you for trusting me." I said as I sat down at the edge of the bed and Barry kneeled down in front of me. "Even if I don't deserve that trust."

"Why do you say that?" Barry asked as reached over for my hand.

"Barry you know that I was part of the League, but you have no idea of the horrible things that I did." I said unsuccessfully avoiding to resurface bad memories.

"I don't care about the things that you were forced to do. What matters is now." Barry said in an effort to comfort me.

"You don't understand." I continued trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. "All the people I've killed, and I never questioned it. I just did what I was told. I was such a coward for not running away before. Before I let so much darkness consume me."

"Don't say that."

"But it's true, even if I was forced to do it at first later I just became numb to it. I wouldn't think twice." I said with a sigh as I ran my hands through my hair. "I just can't forgive myself."

"Look at me." Barry said softly as he put a finger under my chin so that I would meet his gaze. "You are unbelievable. How can you not see how amazing you are? All the people that you've saved and helped makes up for all the things you did in the past. Because that's what it is. The past."

"Barry that's the thing you always see the good in everyone."I said as I shook my head.

"Anyone can see the good in you. After all the horrible things that you went through, you became a hero at the end. And that just shows that you're not full of darkness." He said assuringly as he pulled me into a hug. "Don't you ever say that there's no good in you."

"Barry there's something that I haven't told you. And I have to to tell you." I breathed out softly, Barry looked worried at first but then it was replaced with curiosity.

"You can tell me anything. You know that." I reached for his hand needing comfort, he looked down at our hands and then back up at me. "It's okay."

"Remember when you told me that I was talking from experience, when I told you about not letting revenge get to you?" I asked, and he nodded slowly.