Tumblr Fangirl turned YouTuber Girlfriend?!

4th

I'm supposed to be her sexuality encyclopaedia and confidant but how can I when I'm falling for her?

I was caught completely off guard by her sweet message. 

It was a normal day and I had just returned home from a study group meeting. As usually, I slumped down in my sofa with my laptop and put off making food for a little while until my stomach would growl angrily.

Tumblr was as always my first choice and I scrolled through the messages that had ticked in while I was at Uni and replied to people. Sometimes, I got too many asks to answer them all but today seemed pretty calm.

Or not, suddenly my inbox managed to properly load and almost a hundred new messages flashed at me. What had happened?

The first couple of messages told the story. Emma Clover had reblogged a couple of my posts and followed me. Naturally my Internet friends were stoked and all wanted to inform me.

I felt a smile creep up on my face but I was in for yet another surprise. Amongst the messages from my mutuals and followers, was one from Emma's official Tumblr.

"Hi Megan. Wow, I love your blog so much! Don't mind me while I reblog all of your posts ;) I was wondering if I could have your number? I have an inkling you saw me and a certain girl at my party and I sort of could use some help and guidance. Xx"

I gulped as I read her sweet, sweet message. So maybe, she wasn't as black out drunk as I had assumed she was. I reached out to Abbey wondering if Emma was okay and for once Abbey was very cryptic and secretive with me. She had been acting just like when I first met her, so I decided not to push the issue. I didn't really know Emma and I wouldn't want to out her.

You should never ever out someone.

That process was so private and individual and even if you thought you were helping, you almost never were even if your intentions were pure.

I took a deep breath and wrote her back on Tumblr giving her my number but not writing anything else after having attempted to write a message back for ten minutes and deleting about twelve variants.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone was buzzing with a blocked number. I supposed that would be Emma.

It hurt a tiny bit that she had hidden her number and made it impossible for be to call her back but I understood her. She had mentioned during dinner how her number had already leaked multiple times and she was extremely cautious with who had it.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone because I might still be wrong and this was just an annoying salesman.

"Hi Megan," said the sweetest voice ever and I tried not to notice the way my chest tightened when I heard her lips speak my name.

I couldn't very well have a crush on her, as I had already decided when I met her. And now I especially couldn't if she wanted to use me as a sexuality encyclopaedia.

"Emma," I said and my voice sounded breathlessly. I cleared my throat. "Hi. That was fast."

I hadn't expected her to react so swiftly but I was glad she had.

"I always do when I like someone," she said. "I know when I get on with people and instantly want to befriend them."

Similar to myself, I noted and pretended the word "friend" didn't touch me. It really shouldn't do. It was incredible that she wanted to be friends with me. I'd love to be friends with her.

"Me too," I confessed. "I really don't see the point of dillydallying around. So thanks for hitting me up."

"Of course... even if my reasons are a bit selfish. Is it too early in our friendship to ask for your advice?" she asked with a chuckle and I suddenly wished we were on video chat rather than only audio.

Our 2-minute friendship? Maybe if you were someone else but I honestly didn't mind. If she was questioning her sexuality, it was vital to have a kind ear to rant too. I knew I would have wanted that over my experience.

I eventually found refuge in the community online but that was only after feeling wrong and misunderstood by my family and friends for not exclusively liking boys.

"Go on, I'm all ears," I told her.

"Actually, do you mind if we meet in person. It feels a bit weird talking about this stuff over the phone..."

"Alright, I get that. When do you want to meet up?"

"Are you free tonight or have you already eaten?" she asked and caught me off guard.

Going out for dinner felt very date-y but yet I found myself saying yes and it was only when we hung up I realised how that was probably a mistake. I already had the date jitters as I searched my mind for an outfit idea.

Emma was stunning as always and I almost wanted to laugh at the sight of the two of us, her in a pastel purple dress and me in ripped jeans and a band tee. We were similar in figure, hair and eyes but our styles were complete opposites.

"Hi," Emma piped up when she saw me. She looked as stunning as she had last week. "I'm sorry for the short notice."

"That's okay, I just had planned a night-in with myself and my laptop," I said with a shrug of the shoulders.

"That's sounds great actually," she said and surprised me by carrying no judgement in her voice.

I was fairly outspoken about my lifestyle and though I had friends, I also loved my quiet nights in but some people tended to think of you as depressed if you liked sitting by yourself at home. I think they must not know the concept of Internet friends because I was never alone when I had access to the Internet.

We ordered our food as the waiter left our table, Emma dove right into the sensitive topic.

"So... I like girls," she said fairly casually. "I think I might always have known but I never let my mind dwell on those thoughts and just pushed them down. I was doing to marry a handsome guy, have a grand wedding and a bunch of adorable children."

I nodded along.

"You know you can have all that with a girl too, right? Okay minus the handsome guy but who wouldn't want a beautiful girl next to you instead?" I asked and smiled warmly.

"I think I slowly begun to realise that. I really don't like guys, neither romantically nor sexually. I just always thought that was what I was supposed to do. But now that I've sort of realised I'm into girls I have so many questions..."

"And that's where I come into the picture," I said with a smile.

A lot of what she said resonated with me and being attracted to people regardless of gender I had sometimes wondered if I could focus that to only be attracted to straight cis men but alas, I knew I wouldn't be happy closing off a part of myself.

"You can ask away," I told her. "I've attempted to give a lot of advice on my Tumblr when people ask and I've conducted a fair bit of research on the topic. That as well as my personal experiences, I'd like to be able to say I know a lot, though I'm not an expert."

"You honestly wouldn't mind me honing you down with questions?" Emma asked and reached over to place her hand on top of mine.

According to Abbey, Emma was pretty touchy-feely so I didn't read into the action, even if my subconscious wanted to.

"No, I don't," I told her honestly. I wanted to help her in every way I could. 

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Is it silly that I got all excited writing this? Obviously, we know how it works out between them based on the main story but I'm really enjoying fully explaining their relationship and how #Megma came to be. I hope you like it :)