Chapter 23 ~ The Letter

4.6K 180 74
                                    

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. Better now than later.

I paced my room thinking whether or not to open the letter or not. I fell on my bed.

Why do things have to be so complicated? You just have to open the freaking envelope, then read the letter. Pull yourself together, Summers. I said to myself.

Simple as that.

The problem is..

Its not that simple.

'Yeah it is. Beatrice, JUST OPEN THE FREAKING LETTER! You wanna be a loser for the rest of your life?' My brain said to me.

"Im already a loser! What could I possibly lose more?"

'You've got a point' my brain said.

Ugh! I really am a loser! A loser who debates with her own brain.

'Everyone does that!'

"Whatever! I don't care about your logic right now! I need you to help me think why I should open the letter!" I said.

'Duh! Because it's from your mom! The mom whom you miss! The mom who cared and loved you? The mom whom you sacrificed a normal life for! Remember why you wear that wig? Think Summers! Think!' My Brain said.

I sighed. If the letter is even from my mom. What if this is some practical joke? What if?

I've had enough. I'm going to read this later. No backing down.

******

I walked out of my house to see the sun rising. I sat down a swing. This was another favorite place of mine.

Early in the morning. I loved seeing the sun rise. It just made me feel.. sane. When I feel like I'm going out of control, I take a walk and sit down one of these swings and look at the sky.

I looked around thinking..

I'm alone. I'm really alone this time. I once thought I was alone. But now I see.. this is what alone is. The hollow.. empty feeling I have right now.

"Hey.. mind if I join you?" Someone said.

"Huh?" I turned around and saw someone in a hoody. I finally recognized him.

"Josh.. Are you alright now?" I asked avoiding his gaze.

"Tris. Look at me" I refused to look at him. The only thing I can see when I look at him is Dad. I'm not giving in.

"Please" He said. That voice.. I've never heard him this way. I looked at him and barely recognized him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Josh. I really am. I want to show you I really am sorry. But I don't know how. I don't wanna cry. I just.. I'm sorry" i said.

"Its not your fault. It was a good thing he went on and died. Someone was looking for him. Someone who seemed to want to kill him" Josh said with all seriousness.

"What? Did I just hear you correctly? You said it was better that he died? What the hell dude! Thats our father! our father!" I said.

"Would you rather he died in the hands of a murderer?" He said in all seriousness.

"N-no"

"Then consider him lucky." He said.

"We have to be careful." I said.

"I know"

"We have to live." I said.

"I know"

Undercover Where stories live. Discover now