Undercover

Chapter 29 ~ You're Not Sorry

Okay so.. Honestly, my world has been different lately. After the whole celebrity incident, I begged the whole class to keep quiet about me. I just can't afford all the stares I'd get. Just right now, everyone in class is looking at me. Being me, I'm not comfortable with it. So the whole Megan incident were me and class' little secret. Well, at least I hope it is..

Well.. they promised they wouldn't tell. Believe it or not, everyone promised they'd do so. Especially, Amanda. Probably afraid to lose the spotlight. Typical Amanda. The others were all quiet people, in general. They don't gossip.. so that just made my life easier. They all promised they wouldn't say a word that included me. A few things leaked out, though. Of course some from the other rooms, who were also a victim from crazy phsyco celebs looking for Megan Block, became curious. Certainly they've heard why those celebrities broke into our school. And well, as I've heard, got chased out by security.

Well guess what? Everyone has been looking for 'Megan Block'. Everyone except our class. Because they know of course. What have I been doing? Avoiding everyone. Trying to be even more quiet than I was before. Someone also made a rumor saying these celebs came here because Luke Clark was going to apologize to his girfriend, AKA Megan Block. AKA me. AKA, oh no.

I have to give them credit, they almost got it right anyways. Except maybe it wasn't Luke. Maybe it was his brother, Logan. But hey I'm not trying to say anything here. Just thinking about how these people make up these stories which, may I add, aren't that accurate.

How would you know, Beatrice? You're just litte miss goody-two-shoes. Little miss I'd rather read a book than go out with guys. Just a girl who everyone knows as the wallflower. Are you tired of being a wallflower? I asked myself. Truthfully? I'm not. I doubt I ever will be.

People can talk when they wanna talk. Say what they wanna say. It's a free country, but are these people living a free life? A life where they would realize, even for a second, they might be ruining other people's lives? Guess not.

But then again, who am I to judge their mistakes when I myself have made more mistakes than my ten fingers can count. So I will say this, I wouldn't wanna be anyone else other than me. I don't want to change who I am for these people's approval. The only approval I need is my own and, frankly, I've already gotten that. Darn, Beatrice. What in the world are you doing talking to yourself.

Since I've been avoiding everyone, I've had a ton of time to think, I guess.

It's Saturday today, and I've been avoiding calls, texts, and even e-mails. From who? Well, I guess from everyone. Luke, Logan, Chelsea, I haven't had any calls from Ems and Drake, thank goodness for that, occassionaly from my friends and.. from Will. I just can't face anyone right now. Luke would probably keep telling me to come back, same goes for Chelsea.

My friends and Will would probably want details. And then.. there's Logan. He's done nothing but try to apologize. He's been calling me all day since yesterday, all his calls went to my voicemail. Which, may I add, is litterally blowing up! Okay maybe I exaggirated a bit. Okay, maybe a lot, but you get the point that he's been calling nonstop.

I can't answer the phone. I can't talk to him. Yes I wanna hear him out. Yes I want to hear his voice and hear him say he's sorry and that he wants me to come back. But that's the thing, I haven't gotten over him yet. The moment I hear his voice I would forget about the things he's done, and that I'm angry at him. Every word from his mouth, I would believe. I'd betray everything I sat down, and thought of.

Oh Logan.. Why did it have to be me? Why did I have to meet you? Why did you have to betray me. Nothing will last forever.. so why not just not make it last now? I laid down on my bed staring into space. It's happened twice, the world must be telling us something!