Steady Hands | E.D.

Chapter 20

  It's been two weeks since our 4 am FaceTime call, and Ethan and I have been talking a lot ever since. He's my best friend again. He tells me all of his secrets and I tell him mine and it's just like when we were first friends but better. He's the best thing to ever happen to me, even if he's just my friend.
  The sound of banging on the door shook me from my sleep.
  "What the hell? What time is it?" I murmured to myself as I pulled out my phone. I turned it on and squinted as if I was looking into the sun. Too bright.
  2 am.
I stumbled down the stairs without worrying about how loud I was, as Christina is sleeping at her boyfriends house tonight. Tiredly approaching the door, I looked through the window as the sound of pouring rain and thunder echoed outside.
  "Ethan?" I whispered to nobody. He was standing there in the rain, soaking wet, looking heartbroken. I swung open the door and stared at him in confusion. He was breathing heavily, and I couldn't tell if there were tears in his eyes or if it was just the rain. He looked as if he hasn't slept and he stared through me into my eyes. The view of him like this made my heart shatter. I don't know what's wrong with him, but I've never seen him like this and I hate it. I hate to see him sad.
  After a moment I finally gathered my thoughts and spoke.
  "Ethan, what the hell are you doing? It's 2:00 in the morning?" I questioned him, not inviting him inside.
  "Scarlet, I can't." He choked out. His voice cracked as he yelled over the rain and I felt my stomach drop.
  "I can't do this anymore. I can't see you everyday and know that I can't have you. Holy shit, I'm so in love with you. I never stopped loving you and I never will stop loving you. Every time you laugh I can feel my heart sink because all I want is to hear that laugh everyday for the rest of my life. And I can't, I can't because you hate me. That night in the summer, I made the biggest mistake of my entire life. It tortures me every day. I can't eat-" he was gasping for air as he spoke. "I can't sleep- I- I can't even think because all I think about is you and it's like you're stuck inside me and no matter what I do I can't get you out. And I can't live without you, Scarlet. I can't even think about living without you."
  I stared at him in disbelief. I never thought those words would come out of his mouth. And just seeing him there, looking so lost, pouring his heart out all for me, every angry emotion I've felt for him in the past few months bled out of my body. I pulled him inside and closed the door, as I continued to stare with my mouth agape, not knowing what to say or do.
    I walked up to him and placed my hands on his shoulders, standing on my tip-toes. I gently pressed my lips against his.
  Time stopped going and the world stopped spinning as we stood there, in that gentle kiss. He didn't grab at me or stick his tongue down my throat, he just stood there as he felt my kiss. He did exactly what I hoped he would. After what seemed like forever, which was probably only 30 seconds, I pulled away and looked at him again.
    "I can live without you." I whispered my words very carefully, and I hesitated to say the next part. "But I don't want to." All of the grudge that I've known to hold for so long, I let go of. I never let go of grudges and I knew I was going to hate myself for forgiving him. But no matter how stupid I'm being by forgiving him, I don't care. Because I love him and I will always love him.

Hey look who's back together! This story is going to end in a few chapters btw :) and also I apologize in advance for the next 6 chapters to come.. Comment what you think is gonna happen!