You're My Last Hope (Under Edit)

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I sat there and cried. I didn't know what else to do. Anthony had just told me the whole story, how she fell down the stairs and hit her head, killing her. I doubted it though. There was no way that could've happened. Mom wasn't clumsy. She wouldn't have fallen down the stairs. I know what happened. I know that dad killed her. I don't know how, but I knew I was right.

I just couldn't get my head around it. Mom, my only reason to live, was dead. I felt Anthony's arms around me, but I pushed them off. I had to get out of here. I need to get out of this room. It was full of sadness now, another place of bad memories. That always seemed to happen to me. Everywhere I went, more bad memories would be made. It was like a curse. I had to get away.

I wasn't aware of where I was going or what I was doing. All I knew was that I was running. My feet knew where they were going though. I ran into his room without a second thought. He was laying there, just like he always was. I didn't hesitate to climb into his bed and cuddle down into his arms. Sobs started to rack my body. I put my face into his chest, wishing his arms would rap around me and that he would tell me everything would be alright.

"Max mom's gone." I whispered, not sure if he could hear me. The doctor's said that there was a chance that he could, that his brain still functioned. I hoped he couldn't hear me though. I didn't want him to know about mom. He loved her just like I did, maybe even more. If he could still feel, I know that his heart would break. I whimpered and let another sob out, wishing he'd just wake up. I felt someone sit down on the edge of the bed and look up to see Anthony.

"Is it okay if I come in?" he whispered, looking at me sadly still. I hated that. I hated people feeling pity for me. I hated them feeling anything for me. Feelings lead to people leaving. People leaving leads to broken hearts. Broken hearts lead to suicide. Either way, I nod and lay my head back on Max's chest. There was silence until I broke it.

"Twenty three." Anthony looks up at me.

"What do you mean?" I look over at him.

"Max is twenty three. He swore to me that, as soon as he was eighteen, he get me and mom and take us as far away from this place as we could get." I said. He nodded. I looked back up at Max's face.

"I miss him so much...You know, a few days before he attempted suicide, we were laying in bed and I started crying. I was just tired of my life and wanted to die. He hugged me for hours trying to calm me down. I still remembered what he said. He said, 'Don't worry Kellin. Soon, everything's going to be okay. Soon, everything will be alright.' In his suicide note he wrote, 'I hope the problem's solved now.' He thought that the reason dad beat us was because of him. He was convinced our life would be better without him. Now look at us. Mom's dead and I'm barely sane and dad hasn't stopped! He's not going to either. This will never stop." I said in a weak voice, forgetting Anthony was there. I buried my face into Max's chest, sobbing into it. I felt Anthony's hand on my leg and looked up at him.

"This i-i-is all my fault. I should've j-just go-ne home a-a-and let dad k-k-kill m-me. M-mom should b-b-be alive. This i-i-is all m-my fault!" He shook his head.

"No it's not Kellin. You could have predicted this happening." I shook my head, more tears coming.

"But I knew Anthony!! I knew dad would be mad at me for not being at home!! I knew he'd hurt me badly!! I should've known mom would go home!" I yelled, gripping onto Max's shirt. I felt Anthony softly pat my leg as new sobs came.

"Kel?" I looked up a bit and saw Anthony with his arms spread apart a bit. "Need a hug?" I nodded and quickly crawled from Max to him. I would have rather stayed with Max, but, as much as I hated to say, he couldn't hug me. Anthony hugged me close to him and, just as I started to calm down, I broke down again. This was all too much. I felt horrible for crying in front of Anthony, I had been doing that way too much. I'm surprised he hasn't got tired of it and left. He pulls me closer to him, wiping of some of my tears with his thumb. I look up at him.

"W-why do y-y-you even ca-re?" I whimpered out. He shrugged and looked down.

"I don't know. There's just something about you. When we first met, I just wanted to get to know you. You just remind me of Annabeath..." I look down.

"S-s-so the only re-reason you c-care is be-e-ecuase I remind you o-of her?" He shakes his head.

"No. I really don't know why Kellin. Just, when I saw you, I knew we'd be good friends. It's hard to explain really. Sometimes, it's best to not question why people care though. Sometimes, when you do, you end up finding out more than you want to know. And, sometimes, you lose them..." I look up at him, sniffing a bit. He looks down. "At least that's what happened to Annabeath..." A few more sobs came out as I nod. That's when the door flew open, I looked up and whimpered when I saw dad standing there. I moved closer to Anthony, hiding my face in his neck. I could still see him a bit, but Anthony made me feel a bit safer.

"Oh there you are Kellin. I was wondering where you were." I whimpered at the way his voice sounded. Harsh, like he was ready to kill me. "Who's this?" I let out a little sob and gripped onto Anthony's shirt. He rubbed my arm softly, trying to calm me down. I whimper as he touches my cuts, but don't say anything about it. It didn't hurt too bad.

"Hi sir. I'm Anthony, Kellin's friend."

'Friends? Kellin's friend? Why would you want to be his friend?' I could hear dad's voice laugh in my head. I knew he wanted to say that, but he couldn't.

"Oh. His friend?" I feel Anthony nod and look up a bit to look at dad. He was looking at me with fire in his eyes. I shiver and look down, not wanting to go home but, at the same time, wanting to. That's where my razor was. Plus, dad could kill me. It would be a painful way to die, but I would still be dead. Dead and gone. I wanted that so bad. I wanted to die. It would be so much easier to be dead. No more pain, no more hurting, no more of anything. Just nothingness. I wanted to feel that. That's what I felt when ever I cut, and I wanted to feel that forever.

"Yes sir." I look away from dad and up at Anthony. He sighed and looked at me, just as his phone rang. He picked it up and looked at it, sighing again.

"K-Kellin I have to go...Mom wants me home." I nod and get off of him, slowly moving up to lay beside Max. He didn't move, of course.

"Bye Kellin." I looked up and saw him standing by the door, looking back at me.

"Bye Anthony." I saw him walk out the door and remembered that I still had his beanie. I needed to give it to him, I doubt that I'd be alive tomorrow to give it to him.

"A-Anthony wait." I said, sitting up. Whatever they gave me to knock me out was wearing off and it hurt to sit up; I tried my best to ignore it though. I don't know how many ribs had been broken, but I could tell they were starting to heal. It usually takes about four weeks to heal, and it was always painful for me. I've gotten used to it though. He looks back at me as I take off his beanie and hold it out to him.

"H-here. Y-you can t-take it back." I say. He shakes his head, smiling a bit.

"You keep it. I never wear it either way. Plus, it looks good on you. It goes with your eyes."