You're My Last Hope (Under Edit)

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to do. What are you supposed to do when your best guy friend kisses you? I just sat there, completely shocked. What would Anna think? Should I even tell her? Does Anthony know we're dating? I could feel Anthony start to smile against my lips. He pulled back and looked down, blushing a bit.

"I-I-I'm sorry....I just had to do that...." he said, still smiling a bit. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked up a me. I was still completely shocked. He giggles, something I've never heard Anthony do. I've heard him laugh, but never giggles. He was kinda acting like a little schoolgirl or something. It was actually pretty cute. His smile starts to fall as he looks at me, panicked. He cusses under his breath and looks down, catching me by surprise again. Anthony just seems to be full of surprises today. First kissing me, then giggling, then cussing? He's on a roll today.

"Kellin I-I-I-I..." He looks down and licks his lips, threading his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry man. I-I don't know why I didn't that..." He puts his hands over his face and mumbles something, but I catch what he said perfectly.

"Why'd I even think you'd like me like that?" I move over to him and hug him tightly, not sure what else to do. What else could I do? He laughs a bit harshly and drops his hands, looking over at me.

"You're straight aren't you Kellin?"

"Well, I-I-I never really thought about it...." I lied. I have thought about it. I was straight. I didn't want to tell him that though. I already hurt him once I didn't want to do it again. He looks up at me a bit.

"I guess you know I'm bi...." he whispers. I almost smiled when he said that. I didn't have to keep it a secret that I knew anymore. I don't think I want to tell him that I knew before he told me though; that might make me lose his trust. A single tear fell down his cheek. I wipe it off though, the urge to smile leaving. I didn't want him to cry. He shouldn't cry over this. He shouldn't get hung up on me. He could find someone better.

"I'd understand if you want to leave." he whispers. Those words made me freeze. Leave? I didn't want to leave. Did he want me to? I would if he want me to. It would hurt me to, but I would. I look over at him.

"W-why would I do that?" He shrugs.

"Because I'm bi. I like boys. You're a boy. I like you. That should be good enough of a reason. Plus, I just kissed you. That doesn't make you want to leave?" I shake my head and look at him.

"I know about Taylor being bi and didn't leave him." Anthony laughs again and shakes his head.

"Yea, but would you expect anything less from him? I mean, I don't even think he's really bi. He hasn't dated a girl since fifth grade. He always hung out with girls; he still does that now. I wouldn't be surprised if he told me he was really gay. You wouldn't expect for me to be bi. I play basketball. I was in Boy Scouts when I was younger. I've always been athletic. I was raised with a Christian family. My whole life I was taught that this was wrong. No one would expect me to be bi. Besides, every guy fried I've ever told left me because of it." he says, looking away from me. I pull him closer to me and shake my head.

"They're stupid then. Anyone's stupid if they'd leave someone as good as you. So what if you're bi? Someone's sexuality being different than yours isn't a good reason to leave. That would be like you leaving me because I was straight. I'm not gonna leave." He looks up at me and gives me a small smile. Turning around, he snuggles into my side and put his head under my chin. It hurt, but I didn't tell him. I didn't want him to think the reason I was telling him to move was because I didn't want a bi guy snuggling into my side. That wasn't the reason at all. It would never be a reason for him.

"So how long have you known about being bi?" I asked. I didn't like the silence in the room. I couldn't handle silence. My mind starts to take over because of the silence. You would think I would enjoy silence, with me not wanting to talk and all, bit I honestly hate it. He smiles.

"Since seventh grade. There was this really cute guy named Steven in my art class. Steven. The name didn't suit him. He looked like a Nick or something, not a Steven. Anyways, he was adorable. And he liked my music. I was too shy to talk to him though. I never did." he said, sighing softly. He looks up at me.

"Kel could I tell you something weird?" I nod slowly. He looks down a bit and blushes.

"I-I kinda like Cody....I mean, I know that sounds really stupid, but there's something about him. You'd think he was a bad boy, and he is, but there's this side of him that no one hardly sees....He's like an adorable little puppy when he shows that side though....Like after we ran into the locker room....Oh I never told what happened after you blacked out and all did I?" I shook my head slowly.

"Well, Cody kinda sorta broke Rodger's face. And Jason's arm. And a few of Jones's ribs." So I guess the other jock's name is Jones. Anthony laughs a bit. "Yea....I guess he got them back for hurting you. He seems to be very protective over you. I asked him why and he started talking about Johnny from 'The Outsiders' and how he kinda sees you as his pet; like how Dally considered Johnny his pet and all. I'm not sure really. Anywho, when we got here he hardly left your side. I swear every time you made a sound he'd jump up to make sure you were alright. He cares a lot about you. We all do." he mumbles the last part. wrapping his arms around my waist. I wince a bit from the pain of him touching the knife wound, but didn't move his arms. I'd get over the pain.

"Where is he now?" I ask. I haven't seen Cody since this morning. I didn't even know he was beside me when I was out. Anthony sighed.

"Police station. The school found out about the fight. They set him there for some reason. He said he'll be here as soon as they let him go though. That's why I was here when you woke up. He made me wait for you to wake up to be sure that you're alright. I was kinda scared to be the first person you saw when you woke up. I was scared you'd hate me for leaving you...." I quickly shake my head. 

"No. I wouldn't be mad at you. I couldn't be." I didn't blame him for leaving me, but I didn't want to say anything about that now. He seemed happy; I didn't want to ruin that. Though I'm not sure if that would ruin his mood. He looked up at me and smiled.

"I love you Kelin. You're just....You're just so forgiving and adorable." I gave him a small smile, but I didn't believe him. I wasn't adorable; I was ugly. As for the part about him loving me, I wasn't sure about. But I didn't question it. I didn't want to right now. Anthony yawns and moves closer to me.

"Hey Kel? Would it be okay if I fell asleep on you?" he asked, blushing slightly. I smile at him and nod.

"Yea. That would be okay." He smiled and moved closer to me, closing his eyes. In a few minutes, his breath had evened out and I could tell he was asleep. I would get up and lay him down on his bed so he could be more comfortable, but he was practically sitting in my lap. I didn't want to wake him up. So, instead of moving him off of me, I just leaned my head onto his and closed my eyes. Somehow, I eventually managed to drift off into a light sleep.