A Beautiful Mess

PART 59: I Thought I'd Be Alone

Part LIX: I Thought I'd Be Alone

(Her thoughts)

I’ve always thought that Christmas should be spent at home with your family. This year, it wasn’t. Instead of staying at home and welcoming Christmas the usual way, Paul booked a flight for all of us bound to Boracay. I know it wasn’t summer to be there but my brother for some reasons missed the beach and wanted to be away from home for the holidays. I did not make any complain since he paid for it, including our accommodation. Besides, I need this. I didn't tell anyone that I'd be leaving for Aklan. I need some peace of mind since the past few days weren't really going my way.

We were at the airport as early as 5 in the morning since our plane leaves by 7 AM. Paul took a seat beside me. We were already at the passenger’s area.

“So who takes the seat nearest to the window?” he smiled at me.

I surely missed my brother. Since the day that he became a lawyer, he was always busy with his clients and hearings. I rarely see him but I know that he would always be just one call away.

I leaned on his shoulder. I wanted to tell him about what was going on with me, the recent encounter that Ethan and I had, and just be the little girl my brother always adored.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “Want to tell me something?”

I didn’t speak and just gave a sad face. “I miss Chad.”

“Really?” he smiled. “Is it really Chad?”

I leaned away from him and gave him a stern look.

“I’m kidding,” he laughed and guided my head back to his shoulder. “You’re a big girl now. I’m glad that you’ve grown up as a fine lady. But remember, you will always be our little girl. You can always tell me what’s wrong. I’m not the lawyer today. I don’t have my tie.”

I took a deep breath and started playing with my nails. It had been a habit whenever I feel bad. “I missed you. You haven’t been home for the longest time.”

“I’m sorry. You know how tough my job is and how demanding my clients are,” he told me. “And what else?”

“Hmm…”

“Spit it out.”

I hesitated for a while.

“I saw Ethan recently,” I paused, wanting to get a reaction first from my brother and when he said nothing, I know I can continue talking. “I didn’t expect to. His Mom called me and asked me if I can drop by to get the cookies she baked for me. It was supposed to be a short meet up and I went to their bakeshop. I was amazed to see the production and I offered to stay to help. There were a lot of customers that time. She said anyway that Ethan would be meeting his friends and so I agreed. Ava, Akira, and Seff came in without us knowing which was okay. Then, he came.”

“And… Why is it making you feel bad now?”

“I’m… Totally clueless. It was as if I am back to square one in terms of moving on. I’m already okay. Chad and I are happy with what we have,” I told him.

“Have you talked to Chad? Did you tell him about it?”

“No. I didn’t think of telling him but we talked yesterday. He called me and we talked about what happened with his flight, and everything that happened while he was away,” I answered.

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him I went to the bakeshop to get the cookies but I skipped the part when I saw him and the conversation that we had.”