A Beautiful Mess

PART 50: Vacant

Part L: Vacant

She found herself crying heavily while sitting on the sidewalk. Someone just walked out of her life all of a sudden when she thought it was perfect. Worse, that someone is the one she loves the most. It was the most painful thing that when 'they' became possible, it was gone before it flourished.

Her eyes were already swollen after crying for the past two hours. When Ethan left her alone, she went out of the coffeeshop, walked aimlessly until she felt tired. As soon as she took a seat on the sidewalk, her tears started flowing without a halt.

She wanted to understand him and his reasons for doing what he did but she couldn't. He gave up too easily instead of fighting for them.

"Raffy..."

She raised her head and saw who was infront of her. When she saw him, she immediately stood up and embraced him, still crying. He held her back and ran his hand through her hair.

"Shhh..." he silenced her. "You can tell me what's wrong."

She didn't answer but continued sobbing on his chest. She was still crying when she detached himself from him and ran to the nearest trash bin on the side walk. He immediately followed her and found out that she was vomiting.

"Raffy, let's get inside. You have to rest," he told her.

"No. Please bring me somewhere else," she begged.

*

They were parked outside 7-11. He rolled his windows down so she can get fresh air. He handed her a can of San Mig light which she opened right away and drank straight.

"Slow down, Raffy," he reminded her. She didn't answer. "That's the last one."

"Let's get more," she told him, her voice sharp. "I want to get drunk."

"No. I shouldn't even have allowed you to drink but I allowed you with one," he told her.

She didn't say anything but just clinked her bottle with his before consuming what was left. She stopped crying thirty minutes ago.

"Cheers," Chad said, looking at the road.

"Why were you at my place?" she asked him. A part of her was silently wishing it was Ethan who followed her and take back what he said.

"I wanted to see you. You weren't answering so I just thought of dropping by and trying my luck," he explained. "I didn't know that I'll find you this way."

She didn't speak.

"Raf, I don't know what happened but once you're ready to say it, I'm ready to listen. Just take your time," he said and took her hand.

He was supposed to be home resting but there he was, comforting the woman he wanted the most, but not knowing what was going on, not knowing what happened. He wanted to pursue her long ago but decided it wasn't the right time. His attention was with the games and his studies. If he pursued Raffy, he wouldn't be able to sustain it.

When he first saw her, he felt like he found a part of him that he had been longing for. But seeing Raffy now, it felt like a mistake for him to buy himself more time.

"Someone left me," she started. "He was a coward. He didn't have the spine to fight for me so he dumped me."

"If he loved you - or if he still loves you - he might have had a good reason why he did," Chad told her even if all he wanted to say was that he was there for her, ready to replace the jerk who broke her heart.

"Still, he's a coward," she laughed with sarcasm.

"There are a lot of guys other than him who are more deserving," he told her. Silently meaning it was him.