A Beautiful Mess

PART 66: The Devil's Advocate

Part LXVI: The Devil's Advocate

I am not me for nothing. I am not powerful for nothing. I am not smart for nothing. I am not an almost degree holder for nothing.

I liked her when I first saw her. It was like the bee finding the flower to do pollination, the pen finding its cap, the feet finding its shoes. But I didn't realize that there are butterflies, other flowers, and a whole lot other bunch of bees. I didn't realize that a pen needs paper, and feet fitting in a slipper or some pair of boots.

I asked the person closest to us to help me out. He made some excuses which I understood well for they all sounded too good to be true. But I didn't think they were just excuses like the rest.

I am not one to give malice. I always have lived with the principle of giving anyone the benefit of the doubt. No one confirmed what they were and so I believed they were just close friends. But I didn't realize that couples are close too. And that some things can be claimed as real as how you see them.

It all strengthened when I got a call that night asking for my help to find her. I did. I found her and helped her. I made her forget. I made her see that I am way better for her.

The best choice.

I let her live freely, like a princess, like a queen. I trusted her well. I love her too much and I was confident. But I didn't know that my simple absence can ruin it all, crash down all the sturdy walls I built to protect us. I didn't see that not at all times would the best be chosen but rather what was wanted.

I have my eyes, ears, and emotions to understand. I have my brain to help me out with logic. I have gut feels. I have instincts too like what all those other females most of the time claim they have. I just didn't know that instincts come to those who are cheated on. I didn't realize that logic requires open mindedness.

I was happy when she finally told me she loves me. It was worth all the wait. Someone asked me if I was sure with what I was doing. I didn't know though that she loves someone more than what she felt for me. I was sure before with what I was doing.

I saw her bothered knowing I would be away for a while. I was not scared of temporary goodbyes. I would be back, for heaven's sake. I wouldn't be out fishing for a new girl. I would be with my family who loves her a lot. I just didn't know that she would be spending it with hers and his.

He's my friend - or was. She's my girlfriend though I am not sure what I am to her. I gave her a lot of chances since I came back to tell me. I value honesty more than care. But nothing was said. I no longer want to make myself a fool.

So I made a way.

*       

We were at the dugout. We have been called for a quick and short meeting. I would be leaving in a few days and like the past years, they would have a celebration on our resthouse. They were fond of our property like everyone else. I needed to get the food they prefer so it will be ready once I am back.

"Why did you ask for a meeting this early?" Justin asked him.

"I'm leaving for the US for the holidays," I told them. "And I have to drop by my girl's house."

"Oh... Why?" they started teasing me.

"I would just buy some things and stuff her fridge. She hates the traffic so it'd be better if she has what she needs within her reach. Forget that. None of your business guys," I dismissed them. "What do you want?"

"Crabs. Shrimp. I don't care how it would be cooked," Jacob answered.

"Fish. Blue marlin," Abraham answered.