circumstance

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How long has it been like this?

Since transferring in.
Since Takeshi dragged me along.

He called out to me.
Said he needed me.

Why

me?


...



Always those fake double dates.

Different girls.
Different names.
Different perfumes.


They just wanted him.

I went anyway.

A practiced smile.

Looked in the mirror.

Didn't know why.



Sometimes, they glared.
Whispers. Don't misunderstand.


Sometimes, they rushed.
Locked lips,
breath mingling,
hands groping.

Pressing close,

as if afraid of distance.

A substitute.


And

sometimes, they smiled.
For a moment I believed them.

Conversations blurring

into white noise.


But once the night ended,

only silence remained.


If you asked me, 

I couldn't tell you 

what we

ever talked about.

Still side by side,

our hearts

were

so far apart.


Ah.

It's because...

We were all pretending.


To forget

even for a moment

how to feel lonely.



But...

rain girl.



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