The Ballet Shoes

Dear Louis

Harry could feel his stomach tighten and ache as he reached for Louis' journal on the end of his bed. Liam was at class and he had at least 30 minutes before he had to leave for the studio and class right after. It had been a week since he and Louis talked or seen each other last. He hadn't touched the journal since he layed it in nightstand drawer for safe keeping. He was afraid to until today he only grabbed it out the drawer when Liam left and sat it on his bed.

He grabbed it running his fingers along the worn leather binding and the tattered edges. He was nervous and scared all in one. He untied the leather string that held it shut. He swallowed and turned the page to the first entry. He kept replaying in his head what Louis told him before handing him it.

Dear journal,

I think often about how much of a disgrace I am to my family. They all yell at me and for what? Do they even care for me? I tried to stop the things I do, drugs and drinking, getting with people I don't even know....but I can't. My mum don't understand how I feel and why I do what I do. I feel she blames me for dad leaving us. I can only find escape of the damned thoughts and pain I feel when I do it.

Harry felt tears fall down his cheeks and down his neck. He saw the stain of tears on the page and his heart ached for the boy who wrote these words on this page. He couldn't understand why his mum could blame him for this. He continued reading his eyes still filled with tears.

Was it my fault? I've never bothered asking mum why she hates me so much because I know she'd only yell at me and possibly hit me. For the safety of my sister Lottie. The new twin sisters Daisy and Phoebe she thinks I don't care about them cause the way I shrug them off. I do, I care if only she knew.

21, May 2008

Harry didn't continue reading after that cause it was time for Ballet. He took the journal with him and grabbed his things he needed for the next two hours. Louis was young just fiffteen going through stuff. Did his mum abuse him?

Harry sat in the corner of the studio changing into his ballet shoes, wishing he had his wrap to cover the top of the tights but he didn't. He hated the tights without a wrap and he hated tutus because of how poofy they are. Ms. Bramble as usual made Harry go first.

"Let your arms naturally go with the move." she instructed as he did a few jumps and gentle spins.

Harry couldn't stop thinking of Louis, he wanted to run and hug him. He couldn't though he had other pages to read than just the one.

He ran and jumped perfectly, but he landed flat on the side of his foot making it sound in a loud crack. He immediately grabbed his foot, the pain was horrible. He tried not to scream Ms. Bramble came to his aid.

"Can you stand?" Ms. Bramble eyed his foot which was already swollen.

"N-no," Harry gritted his teeth "I don't think so. Call my mate Liam." he pointed to his phone on top his bag in the corner.

Ms. Bramble nodded and dialed Liam. Harry didn't want to see Louis until the journal was read.

"Hello?" Liam answered.

"This is Ms. Bramble, I think you best come to the studio and get Harry he's fallen wrong on his foot and can't walk on it." Ms. Bramble calmly explained.

"I'll be right there." Liam said hanging up the phone.

He scrambled with his shoes and walked well ran out. He ran all the way to the studio not stopping for anything. He reached the studio Harry was at and walked in kneeling next to the boy.

"Harry you dumb ass." Liam looked at his foot that was surely broken or really sprained one.

"Oops." Harry said trying to laugh.