Her Encounter | Islamic Story

Chapter 3 ✓

(Four Months Later)

Dear Diary,

I am Denae Ivanlia. Nineteen by age, born in Toneptom, a small town in our country (or maybe the smallest; I am not too good with Geography so bear with me). I had lived there since my childhood. But things changed. We had to move here, to this town, Convanlea, 6 years ago. Why? Well, that's something I choose to ignore.

I pushed away the horrible images of that time that were slowly trying to take over my mind.

I have just finished my school which was a place of comfort for me since after I lost everything. There, everybody knew me as the fun one that I was. The top grader who was pretty in looks, and was always humble.

After Axan left me, I took to reclusion. I didn't face anyone, didn't attend to my calls. I ended every contact with the outside world except for when it was necessary.

Now that college starts from tomorrow, no one will see the same version of mine they used to. I have changed. The world has changed me.

Axan betrayed me badly. From someone who used to be my protector and lover, he turned out to be someone who deserted me knowing very well that he was the only thing I had left close to a family. It is true how people we trust the most end up hurting us the most.

Since after he left me, my life can be described with just one word;
Oblivion.

I scribbled the word with anger; the anger that had been surfacing quite frequently since the past four months. I shook with hatred, while my grasp on the pencil tightened. It cracked from the middle and broke.

"You useless thing!" I shouted and threw the pencil at the wall in anger. Every pore of my body was writhing with anger and hurt. I had to channel the anger somewhere and decided to throw everything around, the chair, the pillows, the books on the table and the rest of the things. In a few minutes, my whole room was turned upside down.

After steadying my emotions somewhat by taking deep and heavy breaths, I pulled out the drawer forcefully and got another pencil from it while I roughly picked up the chair that I'd thrown across the room and placed it in front of my desk. I sat on it, simultaneously picking up my journal, which lied open near the table. All of its pages were ruffled but overall it was in a good shape.

I'd been suffering from bipolarity since after Axan left me. One moment, I was calm and the next, I turned into a complete loco.

To steady the overwhelming thoughts, emotions and nostalgia, I decided to keep a journal. I had always seen my Dad do this so I decided to follow the suit. So far, it wasn't helping, probably because this was my first time writing a diary.

After casting a fleeting glance at my cramped hostel room where the window was open, the door was shut, pillows and books were on the floor, I set to write again.

The world, till now, has seen the sweet Denae, but that changes from tonight. I am always going to be Denae Ivanlia by name, but I won't be the Denae Ivanlia people have known.

I have suffered in more ways than people my age have, or maybe more than anyone has. I have seen deaths, murders, bloodshed and cheating. But that ends now.

I've been struggling to press my humanity deep down so I could live a life where I don't care anymore. A life where I don't love anymore. The only thing that will save me from further heartbreaks is simply by causing them. And so that's why,

I will become the pain.

12 June,

Thursday.

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A/N
AssalamuAlikum.

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